Use Me Like A Drug [ BEOMJUN ]

°•chapter eleven

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after that morning of a somewhat heated argument, beomgyu shut himself off completely. he went home and spent the rest of his sunday curled up on his bed under his blanket, running through every scenarios of him and yeonjun after they bonded.

from the very start, it was him who made a move in the relationship. he’d been wanting to take them one step further though they’ve pretty much known each other very well. the alpha seemed to take a few step backwards from everything. at first beomgyu thought it was because of wooyoung but as time passes by, he realised that it was him.

it was because he was a friend that should never cross the friendship line that yeonjun had drawn. beomgyu spent the whole day swallowing the hard truth that yeonjun really hated the idea of being with his best friend.

after the gloomy sunday ended and monday came, beomgyu forced himself to get up. the workplace might just distract him as much as he wanted it to and it did. it distracted him for days. weeks, even. to the point that he forgot about his lease that was ending soon.

so he spent the time after work searching for a new place and fortunately found the one that suited his preference. it’s a little bigger than the old one and closer to his workplace. he told soobin, hyunjin and felix the address to his new apartment since they’re the only ones who’s here in seoul at this moment. he made sure that they kept it as a secret from yeonjun. soobin didn’t ask much since he knew the situation they’re in but beomgyu had to lie to hyunjin and felix about how he was planning on telling yeonjun later. they bought it.

when the pain of separating with his alpha intensifies, he knew yeonjun was still rejecting him without knowing that it actually harm the omega. he took a day off from work because it was unbearable and he had to see the doctor to provide some pain killer for him.

“you have to take this once a week.” 

beomgyu eyed at the bottle of pills on the doctor’s desk. “was the shot not enough?” he had just took a shot for the pain after explaining the complicated situation between him and his alpha which was kind of embarrassing but the sweet alpha doctor named jay assured him that it was fine and it’s normal occurrences. it made beomgyu felt a bit better about his situation.

“the shot can help ease the pain but the effect was not permanent. you still have to take this pills until you both decided to make the relationship work. these pills contained a low dosage so you have to take it once every day.”

beomgyu pouted a little, “that sucks.” and he hesitantly asked, “uhm, you said accidental mating was a common thing, right?”

jay nodded, “yes, beomgyu-ssi.”

“is there any other option than taking these pills for the rest of my life if i decided not to be with my alpha?” beomgyu never want to live apart with yeonjun but the alpha sure made it clear that he can never be more than just a friend to him. so he needed to know his options because as much as beomgyu love yeonjun, there’s only so much he can take with the heartbreak.

if being yeonjun’s lover and mate would ruin the whole friendship between them, beomgyu rather go back in time when they were friends and try to wipe his feelings away for good.

“there’s the mark removal surgery.” jay answered calmly.

beomgyu’s palmed the mark on the side of his neck, brows furrowed a little. “this can be removed? i didn’t know that. i thought mating bond can never be broken unless by death.”

“well, that’s true because removing the mark does not completely break the bond. it’s a little complicated but you don’t have to worry about it unless you decided to do it though i hope it wouldn’t come to that.”

beomgyu bit his bottom lip, heart picked up its pace because removing the mark might just be the solution that beomgyu didn’t want. but he needed it. yeonjun would be thrilled for sure, knowing that he can actually undo his mistake.

“beomgyu-ssi,” jay waved a hand in front of him from behind the desk, “are you okay?”

beomgyu nodded with a small smile, “ah yes,”

jay reached for a small notes on his desk and wrote something on it before passing it to beomgyu. “my number.” the alpha said. beomgyu frowned which made jay explained further, “call me if you ever want to talk about your options. we can grab a drink and you don’t have to pay for consultation.”

beomgyu pressed his lips together, “okay. thank you, doctor.”

with that, beomgyu went home. he needed to rest but his mind kept going back to the mark removal surgery. his hands automatically palmed his mark.

in some ways, it’s felt weird, being mated.

they can feel each other’s presence even when they’re so far in distance. it’s like they’re each other’s gravity, pulling them towards one another. it runs deep in their veins and whenever yeonjun emotion changed, beomgyu felt it. what hurts even more was that beomgyu knew yeonjun felt beomgyu’s emotion too. the alpha knew how deep his love for him was and still had the strength to push the omega away.

if beomgyu removed the mark, beomgyu would lose yeonjun’s presence inside him. he wouldn’t know what the alpha felt anymore. it’s not all pretty but still, being able to feel what yeonjun feel was at some point magical. like the one where yeonjun let his alpha loose for a few seconds during his rut. in those split second beomgyu felt his alpha were craving for him. but that didn’t change the fact that yeonjun didn’t want him like that.

a heavy sigh escape beomgyu’s mouth as he reached for his phone in his pocket and opened up yeonjun’s contact number and blocked him. a few seconds later he undo it but then he blocked it again. it mirrored his feelings that went back and forth these days.

it went on and on until he eventually grown tired of it and threw his phone away, letting it landed on the corner of the couch.