I just can't walk anymore. I feel Im broken right now. It's hard to believe my dad just passed away,half hour ago. I have to tell my mom , BUT HOW? ... She has cancer and she has been in hospital since last summer
I have to tell my mom . I can't handle this pain alone. I don't know why his death has a big effect on me . I have to always remember that she betrayed my mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just arrived the hospital twenty minutes ago. And I haven't walked to my mom's room since i arrived. I can't . It's hard, really hard ...
I just collected every brave part of me and now i am in front of my mom , waiting for her to wake up . I asked the nurse " How long has she slept? "
"About an hour ago. Also we will make her up in twenty minutes because she needs to take her medicines." The nurse said.
I have to wait for twenty more minute?
I just sit next to her and I'm staring at my mom , wondering how she feels if i tell her that she lost his husband. I don't want to tell her , but if she notice that her husband isn't visiting him anymore, she will ask and i have to tell her the truth , and then she will be mad at me because I,ve had hidden her that her husband has passed away . So i just decided to tell her before she becomes a heartbroken wife
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty minutes pass by and she is taking her medicines "hey dear,how you doing?" She asks
I don't feel good but I can't tell her directly
"Not bad,Mom" a kind of fear is showing from my voice. I can't believe I'm going to tell her.
"What happened dear, is anything bad happened?"
Noooooooooooo. I didn't expect her to read me that fast . Should i tell her the truth? Yes I should
"Mom i have to tell you something"
"What is it? Is anything bad happened?"
I opened my mouth to tell her . But at the same time the door is knocking "Come in" I said .The doctor.
"She has to go back to sleep in case not to feel too exhausted " the doctor said.
I smile.But i force myself to do it. I was just ready to tell her but he interrupted me. "Ok D.Callahan,Thanks" .He is smiling at me.
I start walking out the room. I can't wait again to her to wake up and i really need some sleep. So I'm just going back home and rest. At least for an hours.
