Here With Me - A Formula 1 Story

You & Me

We make our posts together right before our car arrives to pick us up for day two of ACL. Both of us pressing post at the same time like a team, like how I should have handled our relationship the first time around. We should have handled the backlash together back then but I stupidly trusted the wrong people. I lock my phone and turn to look at Lydia who looks completely relaxed and not nervous at all about what people will think or do with this new information we are giving them.

I shouldn't be surprised, she's so damn strong. I should have believed her those months ago when everything went down. She promised me she could handle it, and she was right. It was me who couldn't, or at least I let my team convince me of that. I was so stupid. If I could go back in time and change what happened I would in a heartbeat. Losing her was the worst thing to happen to me in a long time.

"What?" She asks me once she notices me staring at her. I grab her hand and bring it to my mouth and place a kiss on top of her hand, just needing to touch her in anyway possible.

"Just thinking about how stupid I was. How we could have avoided so much time apart if I had just been brave and not influenced by my team." I reply sadly, hating that she had to leave Italy, had to leave Ezra because of me.

"You were extremely stupid. I'm glad you realize it. But I'm glad it happened." She tells me and I frown. How can she be glad? I basically ruined her life, having her have to move back to the states and leave Ez. She must sense my confusion because she continues.

"Don't get me wrong, when everything initially happened I was angry and sad. But after leaving to San Diego and meeting Jer, Mor and B it ended up being one of the best things to happen to me. I found more family, something that I was holding back on finding for so long. Yeah, I didn't have you and I thought I never would but I had gained something else that helped fill a void. Of course I missed Ez but I knew it was only for a short time..."

"What do you mean a short time?" I interrupt because what is she talking about? Is she coming back to Italy?

"I'm moving to Austria with Jer in January..." She replies and my heart does something funny in my chest. She's moving back to Europe? In only a few months? How did I not know this? Why did no one tell me?

"Why do you look so shocked? I thought you knew I was going to be back in Europe..." She says and I shake my head no, but I am so fucking happy and I can't help the smile that comes over my face as I stare at her, wanting so badly to kiss her.

"I had no idea, no one told me and you haven't said anything about it." I tell her and she nods slowly in understanding while looking like she's concentrating hard on something and I start to get worried. Why does she look concerned? I squeeze her hand and she looks up at me with obvious emotion in her eyes.

"So you still wanted to working things out between us even though you thought I was going to be in the US?" She asks and I look at her like she's crazy. Is she serious?

"Of course mon soleil. I've told you, I would do anything for you." I whisper, trying to convey to her how much she means to me.

"I wasn't going to tell you yet but I was having my team look at houses in San Diego that I could buy or rent after the racing season was done so I could be close to you." I tell her and her expression changes to one of complete love and it makes my stomach dip. God, she's so beautiful. I stare into her eyes and I wish I knew what she was thinking in this moment.

"I'm so in love with you, and it's terrifying." She whispers and my heart slightly cracks as I hear the fear in her voice. I wish I could reassure her, make her understand that I won't be letting her go this time. That I will not be fucking up again and that she's it for me. It makes me even more determined to make her realize I'm not going to hurt her again. All I can do is show her. Show her how much I want her, how much I need her, how I never want to let her go, how I regret ever letting her go in the first place.