Matters of the Heart

moonchild joonchild

She sat in the dark room, tired out by the world and its people; tired out by the temporariness of finitude and the permanence of infinity. It struck her that what her mom wanted was not something she could be blamed for. Neither was it something she should be ostracized about.

Wasting away most of one's life, longing and longing-- distraction with lies of a transitory release, could her mother really be judged for wanting her soul to be perished even before reaching heaven's gate? Could she blame that mother for the heartache caused by the injustice of those who had claimed to love and protect her?

What good was it anyway? Eternity? Happiness? Heaven? Hell?

And what for?

Was the world's chaos not enough that it had to be extended to an afterlife too?

What was the guarantee that humans as the despicable creatures that they were, would not find a source of boredom to worry about in the afterlife too?

With those thoughts, she sat in the bleak chilly room, pondering all about existence and decay. It was utterly cold there, but the heat suppressed in her from the volcano of her anger and sadness made her tears run down scalding hot, warming her cold face. Despite that heat, she shivered still.

Nothing could stop the tremors of her realization.

Her tears were steam as she kept losing her gleam, sitting backed up in the corner, upright by the cold wall.

That was until she saw him.

The dragon eyed boy -- who walked like the welcoming breeze of fall air-- and scattered colors like the orangish shades of autumn maples. He was standing right there looking at her curiously, taking in the gloom and tears. His gentle smile wasn't mocking in the slightest. He wore white, like a serene angel and carried the comfort of faded old jeans. He was Moonchild standing in the dark room with a subtle silver glow around him.

And when she saw him, she stopped for a moment, letting her breath come out in fragments. Only for a moment did she take him in until the tears burst right through with a new heat as her face burned all over again.

He didn't say anything. He just stood there until moments passed. He took steps, pausing for a breath and then sitting right by her, thigh to thigh. His body was cold too. Guess it suited the vibe of the white on him. He was like the snow to her, but his coldness was unlike the prickly one she had felt in that dark room.

His coldness was like the year end gift that accompanies the promise of warm socks, hot chocolate and cozy friends. He sat by her intertwining his long slender fingers with her chubby cold ones. The look in his eyes was of utmost love. It was something which projected how much pain he himself had gone through and how had chosen to come out of it, strong and steady with a blooming warmth in his heart.

He angled his head towards her giving her those dragon eyes that glowed in the subtlest way possible in that black room. And all the while that she looked, the tears never stopped-- neither did he dare to wipe them away. Maybe he also knew that the suppressed lava in her needed eruption so the cycle of decay could entail the birth of life again.

He let her rest her head on his shoulder as she cried her eyes out while his moonshine surrounded them in its comforting cool. Yes the room remained dark and scary. The cold never left. But rather than his being contrasting himself, against the cold in the room, he chose to become a part of it so she could remember those moments not with a bitter countenance, but with a pleasant tint of love.

He never spoke, never moved, just sat there like a tall dragon fly, like the cold autumn breeze as he let her spill her warming tears on the icy fabric of his white sweater clad shoulder.

Perhaps it was exactly that comfort that she merely needed. Not the reassurance of a better tomorrow, nor the promise of a forgotten past, just the bittersweet companionship in the moment of present sadness; so she would look back at it and grow out of it herself rather than leaning on anyone for the airy lie of a fortunate future.

A/N: Yes, it is inspired by Joon and Mono. I read this tweet once about Mono's comfort that it pushed me to create this around the time Indigo came out. I love his music and him as a person. I hope this can be comfort to the ones reading too.