Invisible String - Sebastian Sallow

Chapter Forty-Nine: Paralyzed

I didn't know exactly when I became aware of my surroundings.

I knew I was on a couch. I could feel the cushions, soft and inviting around me. I could smell, the overwhelming trace of multiple fragrances drifted through the air before assaulting my nose. Distantly, I could smell the familiar sea salt of my coastal Vivarium, but it was drowned by the scent of cinnamon which seemed to surround me.

I looked to my left.

Sebastian's spare school robes, draped over the back of the arm of the sofa, as though he had just dropped it there and would be back any moment to pick it up. The space echoed with his ghostly footsteps, the ache in my chest jagged and deepening with every single second that passed as I looked at his robes. The space he should have occupied was hauntingly empty.

He would never occupy it again.

Poppy and Ominis were talking to me from a million miles away, my ears still ringing as I stared numbly at the robes, not taking in any of the visuals around me beyond those black and green robes, thumb tracing over the embroidered serpent of Slytherin House on the chest. How could I possibly hope to have brought any of my senses with me? Reflexes? Gone. Hearing? Unimportant.

How could I be expected to keep it together long enough to register voice? I couldn't, simple as that.

The one person that kept me grounded, who I was bound to forevermore, was taken from me. Hauled off, ripped away and slipped through my grasp.

More than the fact that he was gone, it was the pure hatred for myself that kept screaming at me. Everything I had done, all the Dark Magic, all the wisps, the secret use of Unforgivables, even being tortured, it was all supposed to be to keep those I loved safe.

Instead of doing anything useful, of casting any useful spell, regardless of dark origin or defensive, I had thrown myself into his arms like a child, and allowed myself to be pulled away from him. I could have killed them all, controlled them all, and saved him. But I had done nothing.

I failed at the one thing I was meant to do.

"Abbi, please, talk to us," Poppy's voice broke through the viscous words I was hurling at myself, her tone of voice gentle. I blinked a few times, realizing as I did so that my eyes were painfully dry. She was running her hand up and down my arm, still covered in the velvet green of my dress.

"Get this off of me."

"Abigail," Ominis said, a little harshly. I could make out the fear in his tone though.

"Get. This. Dress. Off. Of. Me."

I repeated the words, emphasis placed on each of them. Short. Curt. It didn't matter that I was being rude. Sebastian had touched this gown, should have been the one taking it off of me at the end of the night, and instead I was asking Poppy's assistance.

It burned my skin in ways I couldn't explain. Fire chasing each surface of my body it touched and it needed to be removed immediately, before it burst into flame, taking me with it.

She helped me stand, taking me over to to the same vanity she had done my hair at only hours ago. She didn't say anything as she released button after button, helping me pull my arms through the tight sleeves, and trying to steady me as I stepped out of the gown.

She made to lay it gently, but I shook my head violently.

"I don't want to see that dress ever again."

"Abbi, you'll-"

"No, I won't." I cut off her rational, turning to my chest of drawers, grateful that Ominis could not see me wandering around out of my chemise. I yanked open a drawer, searching for any set of armored robes I had left. My favorite had been destroyed in the aftermath of the Gaunt's torture. I settled for a spare black set of robes, the trousers and boots tight, the only black top I had in here being Sebastian's favorite. The one I had worn the night I'd cast Crucio on him. Exposed collar bones were not ideal for combat, but the armored jacket would provide me with enough coverage for where I was going.