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Chapter 4: Fields

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What would Mom or Lily think of this? Would they think I'm crazy for staying this long and indulging in this matehood at all? It feels indulgent like too much of Theo will eventually hurt me, but could I leave if I wanted to?

I don't think I want to, even after our unsuccessful dinner talk, because giving up and going home isn't putting me in any better of a situation. There's no point in returning to my parents mateless let alone with a lost opportunity to be a Luna. My mother will fall to her knees and beg the Goddess to return me to the stars.

So I'll stay for now and hope Theo's heart thaws enough to feel our bond—really feel it in the way mates are meant to.

I don't emerge from the spare room until late in the morning, but when I do, Theo's scent is in the air. I go down the staircase and catch him heading through the hall towards the door. He looks back and sees me on the stairs. Coerced somewhat by our bond, I ask, "Where are you going?"

He says plainly, "The fields."

"What are the fields?"

"Where men and guards learn how to defend the territory."

So the fields are Draven's training grounds. Seeing how Theo's willing to answer, I continue questioning him. "Is that where you usually are?"

"I'm at the fields, at the edge of the territory, the cells, here in the house—many places."

We won't make any progress if I spend all day hiding from him, so I ask, "Well, can I come with you to the fields?

"Women don't go to the fields at this time."

"Oh," I tilt my chin down, "of course."

Last night—though provoked—he said I was his, but he doesn't seem keen to try and figure out our matehood as I do. Maybe I ruined it from the start by turning up in such an unruly state. Maybe he wants a luna of Alpha blood like him.

Theo crosses his arms. I assume he's someone who doesn't tend to change his mind, but, oddly enough, he says slowly, "You can come."

"You don't have to—"

"Just, pay attention. Most people there are shifted."

I hesitate before coming the rest of the way downstairs.

I stay one step behind him and wiggle into my shoes in the entryway. He holds the door for me, and then we're off along the path, but, unlike our first walk, I place myself beside him and not behind him. He guides me down the same large path I took previously but switches to the conjoining path on the left that was popular yesterday morning.

Since our talk last night didn't last very long, I try to keep this conversation going. I need to know more about Theo if I'm going to decide which place—here or home—is the lesser evil.

"I think this pack is bigger than Rowan," I comment.

I can feel Theo's eyes on me as I take in the scenery. He says, "It is."

I give him my attention. "When did you replace your father as Alpha?"

"Nine years ago."

"You must have been young."


"How come you took over so young?" I ask.

"Because I had to."

Sensing a sensitive subject, I try to think of something else to ask, but suddenly Theo says, "I don't think you like how I lead."

"Oh. Who am I to tell an Alpha how to lead his pack?"

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