𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒² | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊, 𝐑𝐀𝐅𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍

one | grief

one

grief

[Pretend - alex_g_offline]
0:34 ─〇───── 5:59
⇄   ◃◃   ⅠⅠ   ▹▹   ↻
❝when i get home, i'm gonna bury you❞

warning there are mentions of suicidal thoughts + weight (undereating).

MEL WELSH WAS recently found dead after disappearing for over a year. It was a random, yet stormy day in Outer Banks where her corpse was being dragged along a stroller with a body bag engulfing her once beautiful, bronze figure. There had been no recognition of the cause of death - the police were still discovering it - which only displeased Braeden Welsh even more.A week later after said traumatic night, Braeden had not left her and JJ's room.

JJ.

Whenever the Welsh girl would think of that name, her heart would feel like someone stabbed a hole in it. A week ago, if someone brought up her loving boyfriend's name, a smile would creep upon her countenance, but now...

Now, Braeden only feels grief. Happiness would never even cross her mind, she indoctrinated herself into believing that that emotion was no longer able to overpower her. She once thought that nothing could ever bring her down, the pogues always used to make her irrevocably jocular, but not anymore. They attempted every day to aid her back to happiness, but it never worked.

Now, Braeden sits alone in her and JJ's room in the Chateau. Her eyes possessed purple bags underneath, she had gotten paler since she refused to step outside - which she once adored - and she had even lost weight. She also refused to eat close to nothing every day, meaning her skin turned into a more sunken feel. It was once soft, now it only felt degenerated.

As did her mind.

The only thing that she could view outside her window was the ocean. She formerly admired the sea - the sand seeping between her toes, the oceanic vista in her peripheral vision, even the piquant smell of the salt chuck.

She missed running on the beach, with a smile on her face. Now the only thing she felt was despondency.

She thought about ending it. Braeden thought it would be best if she committed suicide so that she could see her mother again. Yet, she remembered the pogues and the fact that they would be the ones to locate her body - like she had found her mother's. And she did not want anyone to feel the way she perceived that day.

She also didn't want to leave Dan. He would despair if she ever left him, as Braeden was the only stable member in his life.

Braeden doesn't know anything about how Peter was doing presently. She imagined he'd be at home, drinking and snorting his usual cocaine, as a daily routine. She envisaged he had heard about Mel, yet he didn't care enough, so he continued with his day. Considering he never tended enough to check up on her, she figured it didn't affect him remotely.

Braeden worried for her brother, Dan. He reacted differently when the Welsh siblings saw their mother's dead body. Braeden broke down almost immediately, longing for her newly found friend's aid, whereas Dan stood silently there. He didn't dare speak otherwise he'd end up in the same state as his sister. So, Braeden was unexplainably perturbed by him and longed for a loving hug from him. But, she didn't dare show her face to anyone, not even her brother.

She already showed major vulnerability to everyone who was surrounding the tent where her mother lay. That was her fear.

And it came true, unfortunately.

Nevertheless, Braeden was the most concerned about herself.

She already had considerable suicidal thoughts, and adding to that, she changed.

Her eyes no longer held the pleasing joy in them, she never showed her endearing dimples anymore - since she never smiled after that disquieting night. Her skin, once so bronze, was now so vapid and pale. Her whole appearance had transposed, and the pogues noticed.

They noticed how she had been isolating herself, locking her and her feelings away. However, Braeden didn't want to acknowledge the new loss society obliged her to endure.

So instead of facing the grief head-on, Braeden is alone. And she was afraid she'd always feel that way.

"Brae?" A knock was heard on her door, a saddened tone was elicited from behind the wooden gateway. She didn't even flinch, nor acknowledge the voice. As a result of Braeden's silence, the person opened the door but stayed in the hallway.

"Brae, you gotta get out of here sometime," Braeden's worried boyfriend, JJ Maybank, stood alone with his arm resting on the wall, on the opposite side of the door's hinge. After she still refused to voice even a single word, JJ sighed and finally entered the room.

He walked so there would be closer proximity between himself and his desolated girlfriend. However, he didn't dare touch her enclosed figure, so he only stood near, gazing upon her preserved silhouette.

"Braeden, we all miss you. I miss you."

Silence.

That's all JJ got, and that's all JJ was afraid of receiving ever again.

After JJ realized there was no hope in getting anything out of her, he sighed, looked upon a tear that only just fell from her eye, and watched it sink into her pale complexion. He felt like breaking down there and then, watching the love of his life dissipate away from civilization.

"Brae-" He started, "I miss you so much, please just talk to me," JJ managed to breathe out, however, it only resulted in his throat aching from wanting to cry, but he stopped himself.

He covered his mouth, nodded his head, and escorted himself out of the room, with hunched shoulders and a fresh tear that escaped from his oceanic irises, leaving Braeden in a perpetual and heart-wrenching state.

She wanted to talk to him, wanted to hug and kiss him once more, but she couldn't bring herself to. Braeden didn't even know if she was able to shift anymore; her bones gnawed  from the lack of movement.

Without her concession, the other remaining four pogues were all cooped up in the front veranda in the chateau, discussing the everlasting state Braeden was in.

"How is she?" Kiara asked JJ in a distressed tonality. She held her hands together, fingers interlocked, and waited impatiently for JJ's response.

JJ sighed and removed his hat to graze his hand through his locks, "Not good. But, eh. What's new?" He wanted to append a comedic effect into the conversation, to lighten the mood, but it only made him more depressed.

"Shit," John B expressed and held his hand to his mouth, as a fist. Pope took a seat on one of the couches, his hands on his head, as a sigh exited his lips.

JJ wiped any still-existing tears off his cheeks and put his hat back on his head. None of the pogues knew what to do now. If none of this happened, they would most likely either be on the hms pogue, surfing or drinking together. Maybe all of the above, but they'd never know.

Meanwhile, Braeden was in thought - like most days. She thought about her dad being an abusive piece of trash. She thought about her ex-boyfriend, Jackson, and how he also abused her. She thought about her ex-best friend, Carly, who spread rumors around her old school.

But the thought of her mother overpowered all those other memories. How she was still longing to discover who murdered her. How she remembered that she will never get to interact with nor hug her ever again. And mostly about how she never got to say goodbye.