Waking up with her in his arms was surreal, he held her so close and yet it felt as if she was an imagination.
Her long black silky hair was so smooth against his skin, and complimenting hers. Her long lashes and lips appealing glossy, nose and eyelids tinted a light shade of pink from crying.
Her fragile small stature gave him the sense of needing to protect her at all costs, but her seriousness and rational, strong manner made her seem untouchable.
He loved this woman so much and so long, even when she didn't know him yet.
"Jisoo"
Hyein whispered.
"I love you"
He continued
"This seems so unreal, but my feelings are certain."
"I need to get to work, but i dont want to leave you"
"Nabi...I'm afraid you'll leave me, "
"No, im afraid you'll leave me"
Jisoo whispered back, waking up.
"I need to go"
"I know, it's okay. "
"If you want me to stay, i will"
"No, don't stay. I shouldn't be your priority, work should"
"You know, i would put nothing above you, even if it means losing everything"
"You shouldn't do that, i think your mind is still hazy. Wash your face with some cold water and wake up"
"If i do, you might really just be a dream, id rather stay in this space of mind"
"Don't "
They were still whispering to one another, with every sentence leaving their lips, their faces got closer and closer, leading to a peck, then a kiss, then a loving and gentle make out session.
They held the other ones faces so carefully as if it was going to break any moment, him brushing her hair out of the face, then. Tracing her lips before finally getting up slowly, having a hard time to detach.
...
The first thing he did after getting ready was hiring a guard that should be close to Jisoo, not close enough so that she'll know, but close enough so that if anything happens they're on the spot.
After the death threat he could only imagine how some will react to them (maybe) dating.
...
"Jisoo, lets have lunch "
He called for her. She was in her own world drawing and generally thinking about her next project.
Since she didn't hear him, he went on creeping up to her but being caught wanting to scare/surprise her.
"Jisoo, lets have lunch"
He said again, feeling defeated. Nabi laughed lightly at is expression.
"I'd love to but im full, i already had lunch" //lie
"When?"
"You were so busy working at the dining table, you didn't even notice me?"
"I guess so...anyway, you can tell me the important things i should consider before being with you while i eat then. Multitasking"
"If you say so"
...
"I wont go in much depth and will just list it, i think that's easier for me. So, there goes nothing"
She said, taking a deep breath before finally starting to speak.
"I have mental issues e.g. depression. The doctor says i shouldn't be alone for too long and I'm prohibited to do many things because i might kill myself. My mood is unpredictable.
2nd, i dont think i want to get married, neither do i want to have children. This is an important aspect for you and your family i suppose.
3rd and even if i would want to have children it would be almost impossible with my condition since I'm mentally and physically too weak.
My non existent relationship with my parents could also bother yours.
That's it for now"
Jisoo finished her small rant quietly, still looking down at her palms.
Hyein stared at her, not being able to swallow his food. He knew all this, but hearing it coming out of her mouth so easily, shameful and real made it so unbearable in a way.
He wasn't sad about the children nor marriage, he wasn't disgusted or taken aback by her mental health and neither did he mind his parents being unsupportive.
What bothered him was the way she looked and her tone while telling him. She was ashamed, she was afraid, she encountered so much negativity due to this, hence she was thinking he would be the same. She pushed him away, maybe unknowingly, but maybe she really just wanted to warn him, warn him of herself. She thought she wasn't good enough and told him that way, it hurt that she thought she wasn't good enough. It hurt that she thought he'd leave, it hurt that she wanted to leave because of this.
"You want me gone, dont you?"
She assumed not looking up, and when she looked up she thought she was right
"You can't even swallow your food..."
Jisoo continued, looking straight into his eyes. He swallowed. She was about to leave when he finally spoke.
"Jisoo, dont go. As i said, i want you to stay. I dont care what other people think. Most importantly I love you and will stay by your side no matter what. "
"Aren't you disgusted?"
"Never"
She just stood there.
"Come here"
He opened his arms for her to walk into, to be embraced by his warmth.
"No matter how much you want to scare me, push me away and want me gone I'd never in my life would let you leave, especially now when you're this close to my reach"
...
"Let's look for a dress tomorrow, i will have to stay up late..."
"Okay, good luck with work. I'll be at the studio then at home, you can call me if anything."
She said leaving his apartment with a smile, and as quick as the door closed her smile faded and her thoughts turned dark.
