Stapy, ordering coffee: I’d like a light roast.
Puffball: You're kinda ugly.
Fries: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.
Fries: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Yellowface: Hey, Fries, how was your day?
Fries: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Yellowface* Hell.
Eraser, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?
Yellowface: Where are you going?
Marker: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.
Stapy: Hi, I'm Stapy, and only you can prevent forest fires... seriously, it has to be you. I'm sure as hell not gonna do it.
Fries: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.
Foldy: All good bro, any time.
Fries: Fuck you.
Stapy: Uhh.. Eraser just asked if we want to…
Stapy: “Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?”
Fries, not even looking up from their phone: They’re asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.
Stapy: Oh, that makes more sense.
Fries: Bell, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery.
Bell: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!
Eraser: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?"
Stapy: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name.
Yellowface: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"
Foldy: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Yellowface: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.
Eraser: I need life advice.
Stapy, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.
Stapy: Do we have any orange juice left?
Marker: *pours the remaining juice into their cup*
Marker: Sorry, we’re all out.
Bell: Damn, Fries, are you secretly cool?
Fries: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.
Bell: I do not.
Stapy: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!
Marker: Bet you I can!
Fries: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*
Eraser, pointing to the wall: What color is this?
Yellowface: Gray.
Fries: Grey.
Eraser, turning to Puffball: Now tell them what color you think it is.
Puffball: Dark white.
Marker: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly.
Fries: Why not?
Marker: Because I don't know what they mean.
Bell: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?
Yellowface: Well, it’s frowned upon.
Bell: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier?
Bell: That’s okay, right?
Puffball: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?
Bell: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Marker.
Yellowface: You just said it again.
Marker:
Bell: I am not a role model.
Stapy: *slams down an absolute doorstopper of a tome* I checked this out weeks ago for a bit of light reading.
Yellowface: This is light?!
Marker: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!!
Eraser: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying Marker's* hey besties !!1!
Marker: I literally hate you so much.
Eraser: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?
Puffball: What did you just say-
Eraser: Foetons! *Laughs*
Puffball: Wh-what?
