What A Girl Wants

Thirteen

The sleepover, all in all, had been a success. Sae had indeed made waffles, Ryusei and Oliver acting as quite possibly the most laughable sous chefs, and the rest of the girls trickled upstairs and bonded over memories and inside jokes made over the course of the night and all was well. The cherry on top was that Rin was annoyed the entire time, and that always reliably put Sae in a good mood.

Then, everybody left. They packed up their things, got dressed, filed out, leaving Sae to deal with the aftermath. Well, almost everybody. Ryusei lingered, with seemingly no intention to leave. Because Rin had stormed her way upstairs and refused to help, and because she didn't really want her to go, Sae didn't comment on it.

All the leftover snacks went back into the pantry, the drinks back into the fridge upstairs. The company from which she'd rented the cots and bedding came to retrieve them. All day, she was seeing pictures being posted from the night, and she wished she could send them right to Luna and tell them to shove them up her ass.

First semester plateau, Sae scoffed at her in her mind. How's that for a team building activity?

Once the basement was returned to normal, Sae took a seat on the freshly vacuumed carpet and opened her legs into a straddle, lowering herself down in between them until she rested her entire torso and cheek on the soft rug. Ryusei, on the other hand, collapsed onto the couch with a thud.

"Are you seriously stretching right now?" she asked her.

"Yes," Sae answered. "I feel so stiff from not stretching for an entire day."

"Wow," Ryusei said.

"You could join me," Sae said.

Ryusei paused, and Sae thought for sure she was going to refuse, but then she pulled herself off the couch and sat in front of Sae. Sae adjusted her head and rested her chin on her hands to look up at her. Ryusei pulled herself into her own straddle, their feet almost touching. She fell to the floor with the same ease and mockingly rested her head in the same way, their faces close. Sae had never minded this much when it came to her, but after last night, she minded it much, much less.

"So, what now?" Sae asked.

She felt as if she kind of knew. She knew how she felt, either way, which was good. Safe. Calm. But she didn't really understand the logistics of those emotions, or what came after this part.

Ryusei smiled. "What do you mean?"

She was teasing her. She must have been.

"With us," Sae said anyways.

"You want to stop stretching and do something else?" Ryusei said. "Because I'm down. This feels like shit."

Sae didn't believe her, solely because she made it look so damn easy.

"I mean," Sae started to clarify.

"Well," Ryusei started. "Obviously I rocked your world and you're now obsessed with me forever."

"I don't remember saying that," Sae said, careful not to say I don't remember that because, well.

"I can read between the lines," Ryusei said.

"Oh, is that so?" Sae said.

"When it comes to you?" Ryusei said back.

The moment froze. Sae didn't answer. The question didn't seem as if it really demanded one.

"Yes," Ryusei answered anyways.

Sae crept a bit forward. It was mostly because she'd become comfortable and needed a deeper stretch. Mostly.

"Just me?" she asked.

Ryusei let out a sharp, amused breath through her grin of surprise. They were so close, Sae felt her breath on her face. "Apparently."

"What's that mean?" Sae asked.

Ryusei kind of shrugged. But then, realizing this had meant she'd pulled herself back, crept forward to her original position. She was smiling in that nonserious way she did, and Sae expected an excuse more than an answer at this point, but she didn't know why. It's not like they hadn't made it a habit to be honest with each other up until this point.

"I've always known I liked girls," Ryusei said. "Conceptually. Not really in practice."

"What's that mean?" Sae asked, suddenly hopeful. "You've never liked a girl before?"

"I have," Ryusei answered. Somewhat reluctantly. "Only because I had to."

"Had to?"

"Yeah," Ryusei confirmed. "I knew I liked girls, so I had to like a girl. So, I tried. But I don't know. It was hard. Really hard. As much as I know I like girls, I never really felt like I understood them. And I definitely didn't feel like they understood me."

"Oh," Sae said.

She would have liked to say more, ask more. I think I understand you. Do you feel like you understand me? I don't know if I like girls. I like a girl. A lot. But her pride got in the way. She just stayed there, silent and staring. She wanted the answers and the confirmation, but she wanted them unprompted.

"Yeah," Ryusei said. "Oh."

She was doing the same thing. They found themselves in a stalemate.

Sae watched her a while longer, their faces so close. Her pink eyes were darting back and forth between Sae's, like she couldn't decide which of them to focus on. Sae let her. It didn't ruin her view any.

"I think being with you is easy," Sae said, breaking the silence and bridging the gap.

And then Ryusei laughed. Right in her face. Sae shot her quite the unimpressed look, but she remained unapologetic.

"You might be the only person on earth who thinks that," Ryusei said, her voice still thick with amusement. Sae only sunk deeper into the opposite. She hadn't extended that olive branch only to have her hand slapped. Her frown deepened. Ryusei noticed. "Though, from my time on the squad, I think one might say the same thing about you."

Sae thought immediately of going on the defensive. I wasn't put on this earth to be easy to be with. I'm a fucking star. I'm a champion. I'm the best. I'm Itoshi Sae. That's an achievement. How easy I am to be with is not.

But upon examining the phrase, looking at it and turning it over, Sae realized that it was, kind of. She understood what door that phrase opened. She understood what she would find on the other side of that threshold. She wasn't half bad at reading behind the lines herself.

"But I bet you think it's easy?" Sae asked. It was all the olive branch she was willing to give this time.

Ryusei crept a bit forward, stealing most of what remained of the gap between their faces.

"As easy as breathing," she said, before closing it completely.