if without you. woosan

03

"Give me answers to endless questions
The promise that led me like fate
Where does our journey end?"
-dazzling light (ateez)

꒷꒦ ; ch. 3: wipe the slate clean

trigger warning; self blaming!, panic attack!

san arrived home with a basket of fruits in his right hand, his left hand clasped onto his backpack's strap which hung on one shoulder. he opened the door to their house, "I'm home"

a female birman cat lazily walked towards him, her tail swaying left and right. san cooed at the sight and crouched down after placing the basket on the kitchen's counter. "byul!"

he took the cat in his arms and strolled his way to the living room and sat down next to his mother, "you're here, sani?" his mother hummed, still weaving the threads in her fingers

"yes, ma. where's pa?" san asked, scooting close towards his mother and leaning on her shoulder, exhaling a deep breathe

"office," his mother answered, "had a long day, son?" she put down the materials and ruffled san's black locks

san grumbled playfully and stood up, "ah, ma~ you ruined my hairstyle"

his mother giggled, "you're at home and will shower anyway,"

san laughed, admitting defeat. he waved goodbye to his mother as he went upstairs, directly to his bedroom.

he dropped his bag on his study table and loosened his tie, sitting down on his swivel chair, "ah, I forgot to ask for wooyoung's number"

the next day arrived quite slow for san, he was excited to ask for wooyoung's number. he roamed his eyes around the sea of students, until a particular oreo-haired guy stuck out. he quickly picked up his pace and jogged towards the said guy.

"hey woo-" he stopped on his tracks. his smile faltering when he took in the image of the younger.

yesterday, he had a bruise by his lip. he didn't ask about it, thinking it might be caused by an accident; like he probably fell by mistake. but this? it could no longer be explained, other than violence inflicted by a third party.

the purple bruises on his face had multiplied, his bottom lip busted, a plaster on his face and a painful black eye on his left. his eyes looked lifeless, as opposed to the ones he had remembered from yesterday in the library; it was the complete opposite.

his body looked battered, he tried to turn away and walk away but could only limp slowly. san watched alarmed, his eyebrows furrowed, worry overflowing from his eyes.

he breathed, "wooyoung."

wooyoung hated this feeling. others looking at him in pity. he didn't need them, he didn't want them to. he looked away, feeling ashamed, he felt pathetic. and receiving pity only made it worse, "don't -"

"what happened? no, forget I asked" san collected himself and tried to calm down, "are you okay? how's your-"

san reached his hand out to hold wooyoung 's wrist, only to receive a sharp hiss from wooyoung. san retracted his hand in a hurry, eyes widening a little shocked. that was when he noticed wooyoung was wearing a black hoodie, his arms covered.