Malik - Z.M (Book 1, Malik Series)

47.

WEIRD BORING CHAPTER SORRY.

I think we both enjoyed each other's company more than we'd like to admit.

We had walked in silence down towards the lake and even though I hadn't entirely forgiven him, I knew that all I had to do was move on.

But where would that leave us in the future?

I don't know.

I loved him and I wouldn't admit that to him anytime soon.

I missed him, and even if he admitted it to me, I still refuse to say it to him.

I was in a stubborn predicament.

I want to at least have control over something in my life. Having the upper hand with Zayn would be better, but I know it's close to impossible.

He may be able to manipulate me whenever he feels like it, but I can't do that. The only source of pain I can cause him is making him jealous, but I know that I'd only get a reaction out of him if it was Zaidan.

I don't want to be in that situation.

I've already hurt him by doing what I did.

I know what I did was unforgivable and so was his vengeance to get back at me.

We're both fucked up our chances and trust.

I sit down and dangle my shoe covered feet along the lake water as I continue to overthink every angle possible.

Zayn soon joins me and I look down as his familiar scent consumes me.

I wish everything was okay.

"What are you going to do now that you know the truth?" I question quietly.

Breaking the silence wasn't what I wanted to do but I knew he was in no situation of breaking it himself.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you'll stop all of this once you get Zaidan back. Are you?"

Zayn sighs and picks up a frail wood from the deck and tosses it in the lake.

"This lie has been stretched on for two, almost three years." Zayn scowls quietly. "A little reassurance from Zaidan would have been nice."

So once again, he feels betrayed. "Right." I nod and sigh quietly. "So I'll take it as a no?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't say yes either." I frown before looking down again.

"Alissa-" I feel his hand cup around my own and my eyes automatically fall on him as my breath catches in my throat.

"I can't stay here." Zayn murmurs.

"Why not?"

He looks down. "I can't just suddenly accept him as my father."

"But your brother is here?"

Zayn sighs. "Alissa."

"What?!"

"You're so frustrating." He says quietly.

I half smile and gaze back down at our hands.

"What are you going to do?" I question quietly.

Zayn reverts his hand back and sighs before standing to continue to throw pebbles into the lake.

"I don't know. Everything that I've planned has changed." Zayn sighs frustratedly.