His Only Desire (bxb)

[08] Hot & Hopeful

• — ♡ — •

Eight: Hot & Hopeful

Jayce let out a noise of surprise, although it was a barely there, ghost-like kiss. Jayce doesn't kiss him back. He let Leon kiss him, and he let him pull back. He let Leon sit in a beat of silence, and regret it. Jayce didn't pull Leon into a deeper kiss that he wouldn't want, couldn't want.

Leon stared at Jayce who seemed to be thinking about something, and eventually sighed in regret.

"I'm sorry," Leon whispered, and there it was. There was the realisation. A part of Jayce died, but another part of him was so, so grateful that he didn't let Leon think he wanted it. "I misread that, I'm sorry."

Now Jayce was confused. What did he mean? Had he wanted it? Jayce blinked and furrowed his eyebrows, scrambling to keep up. "Wait, did you... want to?"

Leon sat in silence for a while, his brain nothing but mush. It took him some time to answer, and Jayce wondered if he was going to answer at all.

Then, Leon's voice achingly soft, he breathed, "Yeah."

Jayce's brain, which was admittedly lagging far behind, tried to put the pieces together. But he couldn't. Leon's actions were completely out of nowhere, and there was no sign, not one single sign, but there must've been.

It was all a bit too much to process, though, and Leon remained hovering over Jayce. Jayce could still taste Leon when he ran his tongue over his lips. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Leon had sounded hopeful. Hopeful, for fucks sake.

"Fuck it," Leon heard Jayce curse as he cupped the back of Leon's neck, pulling his face down to his and connecting their lips in a proper kiss. When Jayce kissed him, a small sound caught in Leon's throat.

Jayce started slowly, tentatively as if testing the waters, but when Leon gave in and started kissing him back, it was like a switch inside Jayce had flipped.

Jayce's leg went between Leon's as he flipped the two around to hover over him, not disconnecting their lips as he ended up on top of Leon. And in the heat of it all, the softness of Jayce's bare skin on Leon's, was all too much.

Leon was disintegrating, melting into the mattress beneath him, and the weight of Jayce seemed to be the only thing anchoring him to the earth.

Leon groaned at the movement as Jayce stopped being careful altogether, kissing Leon senseless and leaving him dizzy, only hoping he could keep up. Jayce pulled away from Leon's lips and trailed kisses from his jaw down to Leon's neck, nibbling and sucking on the tender skin which would no doubt leave a mark, Leon knew that, but in this moment, he couldn't find it in him to care.

Soft groans slipped past Leon's lips, causing Leon to attempt to suppress them by pressing his lips in a thin line. His body felt hot, only heating up more with every breath, every tug of his skin he received; Leon was burning up. Jayce released Leon's skin from between his teeth and turned his attention back to Leon's lips with a brief smirk.

"My mum is definitely gonna kill me when she sees my..." Leon murmured against Jayce's lips, not finishing his sentence and wrapping his arms around Jayce's neck, pulling him closer despite what he'd said as Jayce kissed the words from him, forcing a moan to escape Leon's lips. Jayce pulled back to let Leon breathe.

Leon chuckled lightly. "That was not what I expected to happen. Not that I'm complaining, 'cause wow, damn."

"You taste nice," Jayce murmured, pecking Leon's lips again quickly before rolling onto his bed next to him. Jayce lay on his side, facing him with furrowed eyebrows. "Why did you kiss me?"

Leon's mind went blank.

He didn't know how to answer Jayce's question and shrugged. "Why did you kiss me back?"

"You can't answer a question with another question..." Jayce mumbled, rolling his eyes at Leon's antics and sighing. The three words were at the tip of his tongue, but he didn't have the courage to say them out loud, so he didn't respond and just laid there in silence.

Leon looked at Jayce, who had switched positions and lay on his back, staring ahead and still, without answer.

Jayce didn't say anything for a while, and simply just continued to stare at nothing, making Leon sigh.

"Do you know where your bathroom is?" He asked, mentally cursing at himself. This was literally Jayce's house; his room, to be specific, of course he'd know where his bathroom is!

Jayce shifted his attention to Leon. "Second door to your left." He directed, and Leon showed his gratitude with a nod, getting up to head to the bathroom.

He blinked as he opened the door and was greeted by a large room, larger than his own bedroom. A shower rested in the far right corner of the room, a toilet and sink on the left. Near the front were drawers, a bathtub and to Leon's surprise, a whole hot tub.

Leon didn't really need to use the bathroom, he used it as an excuse to escape. He approached the sink, turning it on and splashing his face with cold water. His high adrenaline subsided, and everything seemed to come back as he stared at himself in the mirror. The cut on Leon's lip had reopened, which only meant one thing.

He'd kissed Jayce. Or Jayce kissed him; they kissed each other.

And Leon had liked it. It was one of the best kisses of his life. It practically blew his mind how good it was. But that made no sense, because Jayce was a guy. Leon wanted a girlfriend. When he thought of his future he imagined himself with a wife, a house and beautiful kids.

Yet, that didn't line up with the kind of guy who kisses another guy and loved every second of it. It just didn't.

Jayce's back was well muscled, his hair medium length and messy. He was so clearly a guy. Still, the kiss had been hot and sweet and all-consuming, everything Leon wanted a kiss to be. Leon's gut itched to continue kissing him, to never stop kissing him.

Leon's thoughts were a mess. Surely one kiss between two guys didn't make them gay, right? What would his father think? Leon knew his mother wouldn't care; she literally freely made jokes implying he was a homosexual. Leon froze at the thought. Did he act like a homosexual? Look like one? Talk like one?

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door, making him jump.

"Are you alright in there? Your brother's ready to go." Came Jayce's voice from the other side of the door. Leon quickly turned off the tap he didn't even know he'd left running for that long.

Leon wasn't ready to face Jayce after the moments of self reflection he'd just had. Maybe it would've been better if he'd never reflected at all, or at least waited until he was home to. Leon knew he would have to face him one day, so he mustered up as much courage as he could and unlocked the door, pushing it open to find Jayce on his bed, phone in his hand, as if nothing happened at all.

Leon approached slowly, fiddling with his fingers as he stood in front of Jayce who didn't seem to be paying attention to him, as if he knew what Leon was about to say. And it hurt; Leon couldn't understand why.

"Can we uh-"

"Pretend that never happened? Got it," Jayce interrupted, not once tearing his eyes off his phone and his face ovoid of any kind of emotion. Leon blinked and nodded, turning to Jayce's door and pausing in front of it to face Jayce. Jayce's eyes found Leon's and he understood, as if they were speaking telepathically. "Door's unlocked."

When Leon saw no sign of Jayce attempting to get up and walk him out, he pushed the door open with a sigh, walking himself out.

                         ***

denial is a river in where? >:)