His Only Desire (bxb)

[16] Tired of Thinking

Jayce paused for a second, not knowing how to respond to Leon's touch. His body was now hyper aware of Leon's presence, noticing his eyebrows furrow the slightest bit and way his eyes searched Jayce's face, waiting for a response.

Leon's touch ignited a new flame in Jayce; a fire laced with desire that had never been set ablaze.

The blond boy slowly nodded, not commenting on Leon's hand on his arm; he enjoyed the way his touch sent electrifying warmth flowing through his veins.

Leon hesitantly lowered his hand, much to Jayce's dismay, and parted his lips to say something, but no words slipped from his mouth; Jayce noticed with a lick of his lips.

"We don't have to talk about it," He tried, slowly turning to face his house, contemplating whether to have this conversation on the road. Then, achingly quietly, he added, "That's what you wanted, anyway."

Leon shook his head, fidgeting with his thumbs. He needed to get this conversation out there somehow, and he had no one to talk to; no one but Jayce himself.

"I don't know why I kissed you," Leon finally admitted quietly, pressing his lips together in a thin line as his heart crashed against his ribcage, threatening to jump out. He didn't understand why he was so nervous, and something in him ached when he noticed Jayce wasn't looking at him anymore.

Said boy shrugged, not knowing how to respond to Leon's soft confession. He'd already known this, and it wasn't like he expected any different, but that didn't mean it wasn't painful hearing it straight from Leon's mouth.

"Right..." Jayce said, starting the car, his fingers tapping against the wheel. "It's not like it matters." He responded, narrowing his eyes.

He was gonna tell him.

The idea of Leon knowing how he felt was a thought Jayce dreaded thinking about, but this, this conversation was probably going to be one of their last, and if it was, Jayce didn't want his feelings to eat him up from the inside.

With no plan or anticipation whatsoever, he decided to just lay it out flat.

"I think I have feelings for you." He admitted clearly, not even glancing at Leon for his reaction, his eyes trained on the fountain in front of his car, memorising the way every droplet changed shape as it bled off the edge. Jayce wasn't expecting reciprocated feelings from Leon, and as much as it stung, was ready for rejection.

Leon's lips parted slightly, and again, nothing came out. He was absolutely dumbfounded by Jayce's confession.

Jayce, captain and ace of the KnightsBridge basketball team, who had dated multiple and a variety of girls, had feelings for Leon, his somewhat mutual, and rival; a guy at that.

His thoughts were a mess. None of it made sense. How could Jayce have feelings for him after Leon had ignored him multiple times, cursed at him for no apparent reason a number of times, all out of spite? What did he see in him? Because all Leon started to notice was that he was a downright terrible person and an asshole.

He felt even worse about kissing Jayce now. He knew he'd probably inflicted a lot of pain onto him.

"What?" Leon dumbly blurted.

"I'm in love with you," Jayce replied, gripping onto the steering wheel tightly. "I don't expect an answer or anything, and we don't have to talk ever again if you're, like, uncomfortable or something." He finished and started to hit the road; as expected, Leon remained quiet.

The ride was mostly silent, save for when Jayce put on some music. Leon stared out the window, taking in the passing scenery as they drove by. He'd been so focused on it that he hadn't even noticed when Jayce's car had halted in front of his house.

He'd been jerked back into reality by a knock at the window on his side of the car.

Leon sighed and undid his seatbelt, allowing Jayce to open the car door for him with a subtle roll of his eyes. Now that he really took a second to look at Jayce, his heart skipped a beat.

That man was in love with him. Leon still couldn't believe it.

"Um, thanks," He tensely said, "For the ride."

Way to make a conversation awkward.

"No problem," Jayce simply replied, closing the passenger door and walking back round to the driver's seat, and once he'd buckled himself in, he sped off.

Leon couldn't understand why that made him feel abandoned, but he wasn't going to delve deeper into that; overthinking hust caused more overthinking, and he was tired of thinking.

—

this is such a lazy chapter but i have to upload something :,)