Kaayla pov:
I woke up out my sleep again for the 3 night in the row, i been having these nightmares that quan came back.
I looked over seeing lani knocked out with her mouth slightly open before looking back at the nightstand to see what time it was and it was 4:45 am.
I knew i wasnt gone to be able to go back to sleep so i just got up used the bathroom and started cleaning up the house and getting little things done before lil mama gets ups, these days i basically do the same thing all day since quan been in the hospital.
I took an leave from work just so i can focus on giving lani the care that she needs, she is already missing one parents, so i have to fill in.
This life has been hard and i dont recommend it on no one, every day gets harder and harder for me and I don't know what else to do. I'm trying to be strong for my baby but I don't know how much I can hold on, you know.
After I finished the little things around the house, I went downstairs to grab a little snack before going back upstairs laying down putting on greys anatomy.
In the morning....
I was woken up with crying and hands being placed on my face "good morning mama" I said giving her kisses and she turned her face "da" she said pouting. I laughed to myself, he always said that she would say his name first.
I didn't realized that I was crying until I felt hands once again, "da da" she said "we can go see him mama" I said kissing her making her smile. I walked downstairs with her on my hip to make us some breakfast before we head out.
I placed lani in her chair, washed my hands, and started making breakfast for her, I decided to facetime mama k while I was getting her together.
She answered on the first ring, in the bed with her man "hey mama just rubbing it in my face why don't ya?" I said smiling joking.
She started frowning "kk you know I ain't mean it like that, I'm sorry baby how you doing?" she said moving him out the camera, " I was just playing mama, I'm doing good how are you?" I asked her smiling.
"Im alright these was the days I was afraid of but everything gone be alright" she said smiling at me "After this I need everybody done move away if we have to" I said thinking about everything.
"Well anyway I called because I was thinking about taking lani up to the hospital to see her dad, at least be close to him you know? and I miss him " I said cutting her food into very smart pieces.
Lani is starting to eat soilds so im starting her off slow, moments like these make me wanna cry because he supposed to be here with me, Quan has been in the hospital for 6 months now, and I can't do it no more, some days I feel like I got it all together and other days I feel like nothing I ever do is enough.
All i really want is quan to be here and the fact that lani is about to turn 1 and he still isnt me is heartbreaking.
"Like i said baby i feel like everything is going to fall in place we just need to trust and have faith in God. " mama told me and i nodded agreeing with her.
"Thank you mama k i dont know how you can always be so strong but i really appreciate it" i said putting lani in the camera while i was getting her food.
"Nobody but God baby" she stated "hey gigi baby" "what you doing girl" she continued as lani was smiling at the camera.
"babjsb" she said back smiling, one thing i can say was she was a happy baby until she was missing her dad.
"gigi see you later my baby" "i love youuu and yo mama" she said blowing kisses at the phone.
"We love you more" i said " say bye bye" to lani and she just smiled waving her hand side to side.
After the called ended I finished making her food so i placed her food on a plate and let her eat. I didnt really have a big appetite so i just ate on some little snacks.
4 hours later..
I just got done getting me and lani ready so we can go see quan at the hospital, i havent got a update in a while so i praying thats it is a good reason, but they would call if he yk?
I packed her bag making sure that i bring her snacks and all that, before i set up the alarm. I got big girl in her carseat and placed her in.
Lani really love car rides, some days when i feel up to it we just drive around and listen to music no destination just riding.
I got in the car and made my way to the hospital that really wasnt far from where we lived. I pull up to the hospital in about 15 mins,
After I found parking I got lani out the car and we walked in the building before I walked towards his room, "hey nurse king we miss you so much" one of the coworkers told me
I smiled at her "hey baby how are you" i said "look at that pretty girl" she complimented "say thank you lani" i said as she was just smiling.
I walked in the room and saw nurses running inside the room and i started getting nervous so i ran not to to much because i didnt want drop lani.
"what tf is going on" i said walking in his room seeing nurses doing cpr on him "he heart rate is going down that why we starting to get it started back, we got him nurse king" a coworker said
" omg i cant do this rn" i said wiping my head "ms. king you know the rules you have to wait outside until we get everything situated" she said as i wiped my tears.
Lani started to get fussy so I walked out the room and waiting in the waiting room, rocking lani back and forth so i can try to calm her down.
"im so sorry baby Momma so sorry that you had to see that" i said to her rubbing her back, i pulled out my phone and called mama k to make sure she know whats going on..
She answered on the first ring "hey baby im walking in the hospital right now, how my babies doing?" she asked and i just started crying.
"mama something is wrong, they kick us out the room saying his heart rate is going down" i said trying to not to think the worst.
I didnt hear nothing on the other line so i just assumed that she was crying but i saw her walking towards me as the doctor was doing the same.
"mama im sorry" i said to her and she shook her head hugging me "kk hush now none of this is your fault stop it" she said kissing my forehead and grabbing lani from me.
"come on gigi baby lets give mama a little break" she said kissing her forehead as she just close her eyes.
The doctor finally came towards us " nurse king we bought him back but his body is suffering from all the fighting, i hate to say this but you guys should get ready" and i shook my head.
"No you go back in there and you try please just try it cant" i said to him shaking my head because i cant believe that this is happening to me right now.
"nurse king we will monitor him closely he will have around the clock care, to see if things change but we just wanted to inform just in case-"
I cut him off "yea i know how this works" i said sitting down trying to get my thoughts together.
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Please excuse any mistakes... im sorry yall please dont kill me i been through a lot & ik yall dgaf but oh well
