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"I need you to be strong for me. Aight'? This shit can't break me, it can't break you." Scotlynd's eyes burned as she sniffled back her grief. She missed him, his touch, his smell, his voice. Her heart was but a somber beat, without him. Even now she held the phone close to her ear, wanting him. All she ever got was this, she never got the real thing. Damn, how she wished she could have cherished him a little longer. A hot tear cascaded down her face, sealing her insufferable fate of reality.
"Scotlynd don't cry, ma," Sevyn said in defeat. The shakiness in her voice was evident of her tears. Her response with her quickened breath was like a knife to his tightened chest. He couldn't get to her. Sevyn's eyes traveled over the room, looking around and seeing the men covered in orange. He hated that he had allowed himself to get caught up like this. Sevyn was smart, he never slipped up. The 87,600 minutes in his cell he had asked himself how? He had never been so careless, love had made him sloppy.
"Sevyn... I- I," she cried even more realizing that she was about to crumble him even more. Her hand fell to her belly, which was full of shattered life. Scotlynd believed that she was incapable of motherhood. "Sevyn I lost," she sobbed harder. Sevyn tried to listen and decipher through her tears.
"What you tryna tell me, Scottie," Sevyn asked as he clinched the phone tighter to his ear. Her head dropped at the desperation in his voice.
"Watson times up." The guard yelled. Sevyn looked back with his nose flared, eyes daring the guard to drag him from this phone.
"Scotlynd," he called out.
Her head shook no, as if he could see her. She couldn't tell him like this. Scotlynd needed to be able to look him in the eye to tell him she had lost their baby. Her heart turned at the smile of the officer who had taken precious life from her. She had to tell him so much. That she had had an abortion when she was younger, which now made it nearly impossible to carry a baby full term. Scotlynd needed to look into his hazel eyes and tell him she was damaged. Only then would she hope he would keep her. The thought of him walking away from her forever let a painful rip through her abdomen. He was her Adam, she was his Eve made from his rib. Although she knew this talk was inevitable, she couldn't imagine breaking his heart over the phone.
"Sevyn I need to come see you... I have so much I need to tell you," she choked. "I know you said—"
"No! Scottie, a nigga don't want you to see me like this. Caged in like an animal. I did a lot of shit to make you see me in a different light, but this aint one. Don't come down here... Please," Sevyn's voice trembled at the thought. He wanted her nowhere near this lifestyle.
"Sevyn it's been two months," Her lip shriveled at the thought. She had battled silently and alone through her miscarriage. Her depression. Right now, she was still alone.
"Scotlynd," Sevyn lowered his head, biting back his tears as the pain in her voice had weakened him. He was facing a First Degree Murder charge. His life was in the hands of the fucking legal system. The same system that had fucked many black men out of their freedom. He either got the death penalty by the hands of the wicked, or the death penalty by rotting in his cell.
