The Mendacity of Winnie Hart

Chapter Twenty

I really hadn't meant to insult Noah, but judging by the way he stormed off to lay on the couch, I had done exactly that. He was too testy for his own good. It never seemed like he was happy, more often angry than not.

The more I sat on my bed and thought about it, the more annoyed I got that he got annoyed. He was the one who barged into my house like he owned the place and he was the one who demanded he stay over.

As a matter of fact, I should kick him out! I didn't even want him in here in the first place.

With my newfound burst of confidence, I stomped out of my room and down the stairs to confront him. He was sitting on the couch, eyes glued to his phone. I tried to ignore how nice he looked freshly out of the shower, in his black sweatpants and tight t-shirt. The way his hair was still a little wet, and hanging in front of his eyes.

Focus!

"What do you want Winnie?" He spoke suddenly, looking up at me with his dark eyes.

"Um, I- I just wanted to-" I faltered. I had expected to be speaking first, not him and it caught me off guard.

"Well?" Clearly he was still annoyed, judging by the hardened look on his face. It made me stop for a minute, and feel a touch of guilt. Had I really hurt his feelings by saying we were different? I shifted awkwardly and sighed, abandoning my plan of yelling at him until he left.

"Listen. I didn't mean to insult you by saying we're not alike. I mean, I've only really known you for less than a month and that's a short amount of time to get to know a person. Not that you want to know me or care, or that I care to know about you. I'm just saying that the way you act sometimes is not like how I act, not that that's a bad thing it's just a different thing and-"

"Winnie, stop," he cut me off and I snapped my mouth closed.

That did not come out as coherent and concise as I hoped it would have.

"I don't care what you think about me. I don't care what anyone fucking thinks. I came down here to sleep on your couch because I knew you'd throw a fit if I tried to sleep in your bed. Just go back upstairs," he snapped.

His words sent a pang of hurt to my chest. It shouldn't matter to me if he cared what I thought, but I found myself wishing he did.

"Okay. Sorry," I said quietly, tearing my gaze away from him before he could read my emotions. "Let me know if you need anything."

I quickly ran from the room before he could say anything, if he even wanted to.

What was wrong with me?

Everybody knew Noah West acted in his own self interests, it was extremely evident. Just because he was being forced to stay with me didn't change that. The fact that I found myself caring about his feelings scared me. I should've just yelled at him, but I knew deep down that wasn't like me.

It was getting late, and the sound of wintry wind outside made me crawl into bed and tuck myself under the covers. Soon, this day would be over, Noah would go home and I could continue with my life, lonely as it might be.

•••

My father appeared to me in my dreams. His image melded with Cynthia in big, messy streaks of red. My head was replaying my past memories it wouldn't let me forget. The ones that caused my nightmares.

I could feel myself fighting to get out of the nightmare, away from my father and everything he symbolized. Anything I could do to get away, but it was a never ending cycle. There was no way out of my mind. He kept chasing me through the channels of my head, taunting me, choking me, killing me. I felt myself unwillingly sink into the dream, knowing there was no escape.