A fractured fairytale

21

"Passed!" Rose exclaimed.

For a moment, I was too stunned to speak. I'd actually passed calculus. "You're fucking with me?"

She cringed a little at my language which made me smirk but then turned the piece of paper in her hands around to reveal the big 'C' written at the top of the page. At the sight, I broke into a full grin that had my cheeks aching. "Congratulations!" the beautiful girl across from me beamed as though the achievement was entirely my own.

"You're incredible," I told her honestly. How she'd managed to drill this shit into my head was beyond me.

She shook her head. "This was your work. You put in the effort and it's paid off. I'm really happy for you."

I had the sudden urge to round the table, pull her against me and kiss her. I wasn't sure whether it was because I was so thankful for her help or because I wanted her to stop talking as though she did nothing. Either way, I knew she wouldn't appreciate the move but my gaze zeroed in on her lips as she continued talking.

"Are you going to celebrate?"

She looked at me expectantly and I found myself biting my lip as I studied hers. God, I wanted to kiss her. I managed to drag my gaze back up to her pretty blue eyes. They were slightly bleary, with dark bags beneath them that had me wanting to ask questions I knew she wouldn't want to answer, but they were beautiful nonetheless.

"That depends," I said, steeling my spine, "would you want to celebrate with me? This weekend?"

Her eyes widened in shock although I couldn't understand why when I'd already expressed my interest in her. I tried not to reflect just how hopeful I was that she would say yes onto my face but I wasn't sure I was being successful. I really wanted her to say yes.

"Matt," she said softly, guilt flooding her eyes. My shoulder sunk. "I wish I could," she whispered, "but I already told you, it can't work between us."

I tried not to let the rejection sting. "And I already told you, I always get what I want. And I want you. I'm not going to stop trying."

I'd hoped that response would make her happy but instead, her eyes narrowed. "So, you won't allow me the choice?" she asked, her voice soft.

Immediately, I shook my head. "That's not what I'm saying. I'd accept you saying you didn't want to go out with me if I thought you didn't like me but you told me you liked me, Rose. You said you liked me. Was that not true? Or have I done something to change that?" I couldn't hide the emotion in my voice as I spoke. This girl had me hoping for things I didn't know I wanted and the thought of her not wanting me made my chest ache.

She looked back at me with so much guilt and pity that I almost believed she actually didn't like me. But I knew she did. She relaxed around me in a way she didn't any other time. She laughed with me, she smiled at me in a way that was slightly different to how she smiled at others. I truly believed she felt safe with me and for a girl who clearly always had her guard up, for whatever reason, I knew what that meant.

"No," she finally whispered after a long pause, "you haven't done anything to change that. I do like you, its just not that simple."

I only frowned. "Why not?"

She sighed heavily, looking once again like she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. I wanted to badly to remove that weight from her. Wanted to know what was going on in her head right now, what was making her second guess anything. I wanted to know more than anything what or who had hurt this beautiful girl enough to break her trust entirely.

"It's just not." Tears filled her eyes and the sight felt like a punch to the stomach. "I'm sorry, Matt. It's just not that simple," she repeated before grabbing her book from the table and her bag from the floor.