Erkenci Kuş: Broken Promises

Part 19: Can

Song: Make you feel my love by Adele

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I will never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

****

Can paced the floor so much that he wore a groove into his office's carpet, but despite his efforts to calm himself down, the repetitive action only served to increase his anxiety. He was wound up tighter than spring coils on a bucking machine. One moment he would be seated at his desk, leaning back and checking the door. The next, he would launch out of his seat like a rocket—resuming pacing to the door once more as if to make sure it was still there; then returning again for one last look down that long corridor before heading back to start pacing up and down. "I'm going to need a bigger office if I keep this up... or a treadmill!" He mumbled to himself.

He shook his arms out to loosen the tightness in them. Alternating between chewing and licking his bottom lip, he guzzled gallons of water—trying to wet a parched mouth that felt as if it had been stuffed with cotton balls. Closing his eyes for a moment, he tried taking deep breaths; then opened them again in an attempt to relax himself through meditation but failed miserably on both counts.

He knew that if he wanted to succeed, he needed to stay focused on the task at hand. So he sat quietly for a few minutes, clearing his mind of everything but what would be required of him in order for him to come out victorious.

Seeking a distraction, he started humming an old tune. But the familiar melody hadn't even finished before his pounding heart redoubled its rhythm again. Rolling his moonstones around in his left palm usually calmed him down when he was nervous but, though he took some comfort from the clacking sound they made, this time, it didn't seem to ease his tension. Somehow he had to calm down; nothing was making him less nervous than usual.

There was so much riding on his plan. It had to work. God knows he'd bungled up enough already. He couldn't afford to get this wrong. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and willed himself to believe that he was capable of succeeding as the alternative didn't bear thinking about.

He was trying so hard to make up for his mistake, but nothing seemed to be doing the trick. He had written her countless letters and emails, sent her poems and flowers, and even sent her a singing telegram. But despite all of his efforts, Sanem had yet to forgive him for the hurt he had caused her. Not that he blamed her.