Eighteen Candles (you will remember me)

29.

Billie

My head is going to explode. My chest as well. And my heart.

It literally burns and I am not kidding here. Blake kissed me. Blake Evans kissed me and I cannot wait to see him again. Or maybe not.

I don't know what to do. What to say. What to think. Was he just being nice? He's still a friend of the family. Maybe he was just trying to make me feel better about myself. Maybe he just didn't want me to feel like I missed the chance of my first kiss.

Maybe he was just being my best friend's big brother.

I don't want him to be though. I want him to be more. Not that something like that would happen. Like ever.

What if he regrets it?! What if it's weird for him now? He definitely knows about my crush now.

I just hope Flynn is not mad at me, if she finds out. Who am I kidding, I hope she never finds out about this. Only on our wedding. Maybe.

...

Yesterday has been running through my mind the whole day and the whole night. It's even worse that I can't tell Flynn about it. If I tell her I've been thinking about her brother and his insignificant flirting a little too much, she will kill me. Like throw me in front of a bus killing.

Not kidding, this woman is crazy.

"I'd go for the skirt and not for the dress. A skirt still looks like extra for a date but a dress is too much, you know?" Flynn suggests, lifting up a red bandeau corset from my bed. "Do you might if I borrow this one?"

I shake my head and shove the dress off my body. "You have a date or something?" I ask her grinning and put on the black mini skirt Flynn suggested to wear. It's a tight skirt with a small split on top of my right leg.

"No, but let's just say one of the competitors is very cute," she explains smirking and I wiggle my eyebrows. Flynn is about to attend some championship in two weeks and the Programm is meeting up for some discussion about it. I don't really know what exactly they are talking about in those meetings cause every time she tells me something about them, my brain just stops at the first mention of a run.

"Does this certain competitors have a name?" I ask, throwing on a simple white cropped shirt with a low v-cut in the front and a grey zipper. You never know how the temperature changes these times.

Flynn raises her pointer finger and wiggles it from side to side. "Not yet, Bills. You'll know soon enough," my best friend promises me. She's smiling. Whoever this mysterious someone is, as long as she's happy, I'm fine with them.

"Fair enough. So what kind of earrings should I be wearing?"

...

I don't think I thought that through well enough. This is awkward. Since when is dating so awkward. Ah wait, as if I'd know.

"So, why exactly are you even here, Chrissy Boy?" I smile at him. He looks fabulous tonight. He's wearing a pair of black jeans and a black shirt. The first two buttons are unbuttoned and seeing a small part of his chest is driving me insane.

Chris frowns and I wonder if it's because of the way my eyes dart over his chest or because of the nickname I just used for him.

"I needed some time away from my family. Why are you always using those silly nicknames? I already have one, just call me Chris," he suggests, tilting his head to the left slightly.

I nod in understanding. "No silly nicknames. Noted. What is it with your family?" I try to move the attention away from my mistake. I don't know if asking about the reason he came here is a smart thing to do but I do wanna know more about him.

The only things I know about this man are that he is very very handsome, that he is 5 months older than me, he doesn't like Volleyball that much, he does not like getting called names that he refers to silly and he cannot stand Blake, which is currently the only thing we have in common.

"I don't wanna talk about it. Why aren't you singing anymore?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Neither of us is talking anymore and I don't know how to change that. How the fuck can a date be this awkward? I feel like I'm thirteen again, being on my very first date with Tyler Summers, who left school after some rumor about him still using diapers otherwise he would shit himself, got spread all around school.

Everyone knew about Tyler the diaperuser. I was always kinda feeling bad for him but also always wondered why I never got backfired for dating him. If using a diaper is embarrassing, wouldn't dating the diaperuser also be embarrassing?

"What do you think of leaving this place and doing something else instead?" Chris asks unsurely. He gives me a small smile, which I return. "I feel like we're both a bit under pressure in here."

I nod in agreement, relived that Chris spoke out exactly what I was thinking.

...

"This is much better, isn't it?" Chris asks and I nod smiling.

We drove to a park close to Julien's house and decided to just go for a romantic walk. He gave me a jacket he had in his car and now we're just walking beside each other.

"I Love evening air. It's so refreshing and relaxing. But it's way better in late autumn. It's not too cold to freeze to death at this time but there is this cold refreshing wind that blows through your hair," I tell him.

"I like how you talk about it. But I'm more of the summer guy type, you know?"

I nod. "I get that. It's warm and the sunsets are extra pretty and spending time with your friends in the evenings. That's what I like about summer." I smile at the thought of it.

I cannot even count how many times I've spent watching the sunset in Julien's house and how many summer nights I spent playing volleyball or going for a midnight swim at Lily's beach house.

"I guess. I have a question, Billie. Like a serious one," he suddenly says and I turn my head to him. I just look at him, waiting for him to say something. "I wanted to ask, if - well, if you know this, between us- would for your liking go in a more serious direction?"

I smile at him. I'm used to people asking me for a quick hook up. I've not been asked for something serious as many times.

"Well, if you want to. I'm in."

Chris smiles and tucks one strand of hair behind my right ear. He cups my cheek with his hand and moves closer to my face. "This is going to be your personal dream, Billie."

And then he kisses me.

_ _ _

Hii!!

New chapter, I guess. How did you like it? I'm always scared that you secretly find this book boring and just wait for this one part that blew up on TikTok to be published 🫠

How are you guys doing?

Thank you for all your support and patience!!

<3

(first chapter of The Games We Play might be published tomorrow🫢)