Scene cuts to Mario walking down a dark corridor.]
MARIO: (exhales)
[Mario enters the ring, full of cheering Kongs, who then boo at Mario's presence. Suddenly, Donkey Kong emerges, much to the adoration of the crowd. The "DK Rap" begins to play. He crushes two barrels that come out of nowhere.]
DONKEY KONG: (rhythmically) I'm DK! I'm Donkey Kong!
FANGIRL KONG: YEAH! WE LOVE YOU!
DONKEY KONG: Oh, yeah! (waving to Cranky) Hi, Dad! Hi!
CRANKY KONG: (embarrassed) No, don't... Don't do that!
DONKEY KONG: (dancing) Dad, wave back!
CRANKY KONG: Enough with the showboating!
DONKEY KONG: What do you mean? They like it! It's what they came here for! Dancing pecs! (does a pec flex as the crowd continues to cheer wildly)
CRANKY KONG: Okay, simmer down. (The crowd continues to chant) I said, "SIMMER DOWN!" (The crowd except Diddy Kong stops cheering)
DIDDY KONG: DK! DK! DK!
CRANKY KONG: That means you, Diddy Kong!
DIDDY KONG: D-- Sorry.
CRANKY KONG: Now, since I want this fight to last more than five seconds, I put power-ups around the arena. You're welcome, Mario.
DONKEY KONG: I don't need anything special to break every bone in your tiny body!
DONKEY KONG: (growls as the crowd cheers again)
MARIO: (laughs nervously then exhales) Alright.
[Mario charges at Donkey Kong as the crowd roars. Suddenly, Mario is slammed on the girder and slapped repeatedly. Peach and Toad cringe.]
PEACH: Oh!
TOAD: Oh, my-- Okay.
Delilah: ooohh.
CRANKY KONG: Guess you're not getting my army!
Delilah: don't push it.
DONKEY KONG: Is this what you came for?!
FANBOY KONG: WE LOVE YOU DK!!!! (sobs)
DONKEY KONG: Hi, Dad! Love you!
Mario charges.
DONKEY KONG: It is on like Donkey Kong!
MARIO: [gets a Mini Mushroom, and the audience gasps] You're about to pick on someone your own size. [eats it] YEA-! [shrinks] Oh…
CRANKY KONG: I guess he got the wrong mushroom.
DONKEY KONG: (laughs)
MARIO: (chuckles nervously, then starts running screaming)
[Donkey Kong starts trying to smash Mario with his fists, then slams him into the air]
MARIO: Whoa!
[Donkey Kong catches Mario, flicks him at the door, returning him to normal, then starts rapidly rolling towards Mario]
PEACH: Get up, Mario!
Delilah: thats it. I'm going in.
Cranky Kong: ah ah ah. Its supposed to be a fair fight kid.
[Mario gets up and dodges Donkey Kong. As the fight continues, Donkey Kong continues to beat down Mario to near-exhaustion]
DONKEY KONG: Had enough?
MARIO: Not...even...close.
[Donkey Kong uppercuts Mario in an attempt to finish him off. The scene slows down]
PEACH: (slowed) Mario!
MARIO: (slowed) It's-a-me...
PEACH: (slowed) The box!
(Mario grabs and climbs a ledge, then hits a ? Block. He gets the Super Bell)
KONGS: Awww!
TOAD: He looks adorable.
PEACH: (chuckles) He really does.
Delilah: so going on my insta!
MARIO: Oh, wha-- I'm a cat?!
DONKEY KONG: (Laughs) You got the cat box! Oh, my-- Ah! Oh, I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Okay... Now you die.
[Mario uses his new cat reflexes to dodge a punch from Donkey Kong]
MARIO: I'm a cat!
Delilah: maybe this will work after all.
[After dodging a series of blows from Donkey Kong, Mario counterattacks and scratches him]
MARIO: Meow.
Donkey Kong gives Mario a weird look before continuing to fight him. Donkey Kong continues to struggle against Cat Mario]
TOAD: Woo-hoo!
[Mario claw-dives Donkey Kong, breaking several floors]
MARIO: Had enough?
DONKEY KONG: Not...even...close.
[Donkey Kong begins to topple back into space, but Mario grabs him by the tie.]
MARIO: I'll take that as a yes.
[Donkey Kong falls forward and Mario leaps onto him.]
KONGS: Mario! Mario!
TOAD: Yes! That's my best friend!
KONGS: Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario! Mario!
[Peach smirks at Cranky Kong.]
CRANKY KONG: Yeah, yeah...
[Cranky Kong returns the grin.]
Cranky Kong: your friend put up a good fight chieftess.
Delilah: thank you.
KONGS: Mario! Mario!
