Big Bend (g/t)

Doubts

Easton

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I wasn't totally sure why, really. I considered getting up, then decided against that upon remembering how tired I was.
My sister had said I'd get used to the relatively shorter days and nights on Earth, but that apparently had yet to happen. Nothing like going from 16 hours of sleep to 7 (on a good night) to make you question your decisions.

Not like I didn't do a lot of that already, I thought. Recently I'd been doing more of it, though. Namely, questioning my decision in job. And decision to come live on Earth overall. I'd liked working as a park ranger back on Aphiria, I really had. It was fun getting to talk to visitors about nature. Getting to see new places whenever I worked a season at a different park.

I'd been excited to come to Earth for both of those reasons (and countless others, to be honest). Earth had long been fascinating to me. Even more so after I'd met Ruby, Kyle, and Larissa. Plus, it'd seemed like a chance to actually help do something important - strengthening relations with another planet we had previously barely communicated with. On paper, it seemed like a great decision.

And I wouldn't say I didn't like Earth, or my job, or my coworkers, but things were definitely turning out way more complicated than I'd expected.
Maybe my dad was onto something calling me naive, I thought, frowning.

There was the biggest - no pun intended - issue of how I was comparatively giant to everything and everyone around me here. I had spent time with humans before, but that had been on Aphiria, where they had been the ones that didn't "fit in". I hadn't expected Earth to feel quite so isolating. Or continuously anxiety inducing - I felt like I was constantly on alert to make sure I didn't end up damaging a building, or a car. Or, god forbid, hurting someone. It really didn't help matters that a good portion of humans seemed at least partially convinced that aphirials were man-eating giants.

Then there was how I really worked less as an interpretive ranger and more as an entertainer, at this point. Half the visitors didn't even seem interested in the park - just in taking a picture with me. Which I could understand, given that there weren't really any other aphirials in even semi-public facing jobs on Earth, and this was probably a lot of human's chance to meet one of us. It was still a little disappointing, given how many cool features the park had to offer.

And then there was how Dave possibly, probably hated me. That had been plaguing my mind recently almost as much as the first issue, despite being far less important logically. Like, sometimes people didn't like you, right? I'd known plenty of people who hadn't in the past. My own father, for one. So I wasn't entirely sure why I was so caught on Dave disliking me.

All of my doubts with my current situation had only increased ten fold after the man had stopped by with his rant about me and Aphiria a week prior. I had, in true anxious mess fashion, later gone to the internet. I guess I was curious about what he'd been ranting about. I figured maybe I could understand him better. All I really succeeded in doing was crying into my pillow, after reading numerous "theories" about how not only were aphirials killing humans, but also me specifically.

Another fun perk of being pretty much the only aphirial on Earth.

I had, of course, tried to repeatedly tell myself I was being dramatic, and it didn't really matter what random people on the internet came up with. And then I'd read another post about how I was apparently responsible for multiple missing hikers (that hadn't even come to Big Bend), and the government was covering it up, and then went back to crying.

The worst part was that I felt like I couldn't even really be upset that humans felt that way or thought that way, because it wasn't like their fears were totally unfounded. Not that I would ever try to hurt anyone, of course. But I was taller than some of their buildings. I did have fangs, and claws (before I'd filed them down). I had, at one point in time, even been praised for my hunting skills of small animals on Aphiria. All that to say, I guessed I would have also been wary if the tables were turned.

The one brief highlight recently was when I'd been sitting outside the other night, and met Zoey. I was still a bit confused about that entire encounter, but in a refreshingly good way, at least. She knew what aphirials were, it seemed like, but hadn't seemed at all concerned to see me. And she'd been surprised to learn I worked at the park, which meant from her perspective, she'd just...stumbled upon a giant in the middle of the night and decided to strike up on a conversation.

I heard my phone buzz, pulling from my admittedly melodramatic thoughts. I rolled over, looking at it. There was a notification from Angie. After she'd asked me if I had snapchat, she'd also asked to add me. I'll admit I probably felt way more excited than necessary at that - like I said, Earth had felt isolating. Being on a literally different planet from all of your friends was more than a little lonely. I opened the snapchat message.

"Do u want to go stargazing again tonight?"

I also felt way more excited than necessary reading the invite. Excited enough to actually sit up from where I'd been laying for the past hour or so. Maybe I'd actually manage to make friends here yet.

Or maybe you're being naive and stupid, again. I could practically hear my dad's voice in my head. I shook my head, trying to push that thought away.