Brightwin- Between Us

II.The Revelation

I once had the pleasure of experiencing Bungee jumping. If you have ever done that you might relate to the feeling of numbness after you get back on the ground. You need a moment to get your bearings back and realise whatever you did just now was real and you were not dreaming.

It feels as if you have been momentarily transported to another universe where there is no thought in your mind, no movement in your body, a constant ringing in your ears with no ability to listen to anyone even as you see their lips murmuring something. This happens for half a minute but it's enough to shake you.

This is what I am feeling right now. Numb. Disassociated. Blank. As I see thousands of people in front of me, jumping, screaming, expressing their happiness, no sound reaches my ears as I stand there watching the love of life holding hand of a girl and looking at her with so much love that I am taken aback momentarily.

Was I seeing things? Was I just a having a terrible nightmare? Maybe this is just an act. Maybe they are just trying to gain publicity for their new movie or something. Maybe they are just trying to acquaint people with them as a couple in their new series.

But even as I try to console myself I know this is all true. One look at the shocked yet happy faces of Win's half of the team, I know. I know that this is reality. This is actually happening. Was I always so blind with my love that I didn't see any other thing beyond that? I didn't try to see whether that love, the kind of love that I want, that I feel was being reciprocated or not.

Why would I? Maybe for him, taking care of me when I was sick, standing by me when I was having the worst time of my life, listening to me pouring my heart out about my life, my insecurities, my financial issues, my rejections, my fucking first heartbreak, was just his act of kindness, but to me, to me it was everything. Here I was telling him about my past thinking he would be my future while he was sharing his heart with someone else, to someone who wasn't me and that hurts. That fucking hurts.

As that happy couple reaches the centre of the stage, Win doesn't even spare a glance at me as he too busy making sure that his girlfriend's dress is okay as it flares out and covers half the stage. Suddenly I am glad he is not looking at me because the moment he does, I know I will do something stupid like burst out crying.

Did I do something wrong? Was my love not enough for him? But as I look at her, I understand why he chose her. She is the epitome of beauty. So delicate, so soft yet confident just like him. She is perfect for him. Not like me who questions himself all the time and need reassurance at every point of time because he is filled with negative thoughts about himself. That would take a toll on anyone. No wants a person with so much baggage. I understand if he felt the need to be with someone who can give him peace instead of being a deadweight to his happiness.

'Since I have started my career in entertainment industry, I have been blessed to meet to so many people who have filled my life with so much happiness and peace that I can't thank them enough. My parents have always been so supportive with all the choices I have made in my life and continue to do that. But all of us need someone other than family and friends to in our lives who will hold our hand and stand by us in difficult times of our lives and y/n has been that person in my life. She has given me so much love that sometimes I feel unworthy of it but I promise I will try my best to give all the love I can muster', Win promises as he looks in y/n's eyes which are brimmed with tears, his voice thick with emotion. I find myself choking down a sob seeing him like this.

How did I miss this? I thought I knew him inside out and seeing the heartbreaking scene in front of me, I think I never knew how Win Metawin's love looked like. So this is what would like when he would be in love. Love that is so crystal clear in his eyes that no one can miss it. I wanna laugh on all the crazy ideas I was threading in mind. I mean how much foolish can I be?

Win suddenly looks towards me and lifts his mike towards his mouth, 'I apologize if you feel bad that I didn't tell you but I wanted it to be a surprise', he says with a amused expression on his face. I look at him blankly as I think about how clueless he is. Didn't he see the love reflecting in my eyes? Didn't he see the small things I tried to do for him that I would've done for anyone else?

The whole world knows that my feelings for him aren't even a single bit brotherly and he, being the foolish person he is, believes the atrocious word that comes out of my mouth to keep public eye off us which has not proven to be useful because my eyes communicate what my words don't. The people who don't even know me know about my love except him who I thought knows me better than anyone.

I catch the frantic eyes of my manager as she make gestures wildly with her hands that suggest I should speak something. How can I speak when my whole world is crashing down? She must realize that because her eyes turn sympathetic. I look away from her and towards Win again whose enthralling eyes are filled with question, brows furrowed and face dripping with anticipation.

'Its okay bro, no hard feelings. Congratulations', I say clearing my throat to get rid of the lump of the size of a tennis ball in my throat, but still my voice comes out gravelly and thick. I clear it once again and muster up a small smile even though my heart is cracking up.

He looks confused by my actions and tries to catch to my eyes but I look away and look towards the crowd with blank eyes. He is forced to look the other way when y/n starts speaking which is for the best since now along side immeasurable hurt and pain, there is calamitous anger in my heart which can be so destructive, even I didn't have any idea.