INT PAULEY PAVILION APRIL 4 1998
ROSIE IS READY TO HOST THE 11TH ANNUAL KIDS CHOICE AWARDS
MILLIONS OF KIDS AND CELEBRITIES ARE IN THE AUDIENCE
Rosie: YEAH!
EVERYBODY IS EXCITED FOR THE SHOW TO START
Rosie: ARE YOU READY TO PARTY?
EVERYBODY CHEERS
Rosie: Welcome to the 11th annual Kids Choice Awards! The time when Hollywood's biggest stars put away the tuxedos and makeup and put on the sneakers and slime! Cause this is the night! The big night, the HUGE night that KIDS RULE!
EVERYBODY CHEERS AND THEY ALSO HOLD UP BIG SIGNS
Rosie: Once again millions and millions of you jammed our phone lines, mailboxes and the website to tell us who kicks major BUTT in the worlds of movies, TV, music, sports and much more! Now we have six nominees in each category so that means there are over 60 nominees tonight and we'll find out which star will take home the TOTALLY COOL Orange Blimps, and we'll find out which SUPER COOL star takes home SUPER COOL Golden Blimp and enters the Kids Choice Hall of Fame!
THE CAMERA SHOWS THE KIDS CHOICE CONTRAPTIONS KNOWN AS "KID-TRAPTIONS"
Rosie: This year, we've built a bigger better Kids Choice Awards and we did it with KID POWER! There are 8 THOUSAND KIDS HERE and 8 kinds of Kid-Traptions and these totally awesome kid powered do-hickey things which will announce tonight's winners! Well there's more than 8 but you'll keep watching, you just might see some. And we're pumping even more Kid Power in the house tonight because tonight for the first time ever, YOU GUYS are giving out the awards! That's right! Kids across America entered the Kids Choice Sweepstakes, the lucky winners are here tonight to announce the awards with the stars! So whaddaya say we get to it! Are you ready?!
THE CROWD CHEERS
Rosie: Here to give out the first award of the night Favorite Movie Actress, here's our first sweepstakes winner Joe MaGuire from Florida! And joining him is our first big star, you know him as Marshall from "Wild America", Pinocchio, Tom Sawyer, The Lion King and Randy from "Home Improvement"! Ladies and gentlemen, JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS!
JOE MaGUIRE AND JONATHAN TAYLOR THOMAS COME OUT TO PRESENT THE FIRST AWARD
JTT HAS PLENTY OF CANDY AND POPCORN AND SOFT DRINKS AS IF HE'S GOING TO A MOVIE THEATER
JTT: Hi guys!
LOTS OF GIRLS ARE SCREAMING FOR JTT INCLUDING BEBEE BLUFF, ANGELICA PICKLES, RHONDA LLOYD, THE ASHLEYS FROM "RECESS" TRINKET AND CISSY FROM "PEPPER ANN" AND QUINN MORGENDORFER
JTT: I'm totally psyched about being here and giving out the the Kids Choice Award for Favorite Movie Actress! You ready for this, Joe?
Joe: Yep!
JTT: So am I! I love the movies, I have a new movie coming this Holiday season, I got my soda, licorice, Raisinettes, Butterfingers...
BART SIMPSON IS IN THE AUDIENCE
Bart: So I'm not gonna lay a finger on JTT's Butterfinger!
JTT: But you know I'm kinda bummed, because you know why? We're all out of popcorn!
Joe: I'll get you some popcorn, but it won't be from the audience!
MIB AGENTS J AND K FROM THE "MEN IN BLACK" CARTOON SERIES ARE IN THE AUDIENCE HOPING THAT NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY GOES ON TONIGHT
Agent J: Are you sure that we're supposed to be blending in?
Agent K: We are blending in, slick.
THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT TO SEE THAT THEY ARE WEARING A T SHIRT THAT SAYS "I ATTENDED NICKELODEON'S 11TH ANNUAL KIDS CHOICE AWARDS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T SHIRT"
Agent K: It was your idea.
Agent J: Maybe I can drive the LTD back to Manhattan.
Agent K: We'll think about that.
JTT: While Joe finds popcorn, let's take a look at the nominees.
CGI ANIMATION SHOWS THE NOMINEES FOR FAVORITE MOVIE ACTRESS
EG: The nominees for Favorite Movie Actress are...
CLIPS OF "VEGAS VACATION" ARE SHOWN WITH ELLEN
EG: Beverly D'Angelo "Vegas Vacation"
Ellen: I've got two dollars. Clark, get our money back!
CLIPS OF "BATMAN AND ROBIN" ARE SHOWN WITH POISON IVY
Poison Ivy: Just what I had in mind!
EG: Uma Thurman "Batman and Robin"
Poison Ivy: Everything on Earth dead, except US!
CLIPS OF "BATMAN AND ROBIN" ARE NOW SHOWN WITH BATGIRL
Barbara Gordon: Suit me up, Alfred!
EG: Alicia Silverstone "Batman and Robin"
Batgirl: Let's go melt Mr Freeze!
CLIPS OF "THAT DARN CAT" ARE SHOWN
EG: Christina Ricci "That Darn Cat"
Patti Randall: He's a cat.
CLIPS OF "MEN IN BLACK" ARE SHOWN WITH DR LAUREL WEAVER
EG: Linda Fiorentino "Men in Black"
Dr Weaver: I knew it, this is an alien and you guys are from some government agency trying to keep it under wraps.
J: Naw.
CLIPS OF "TITANIC" ARE SHOWN WITH ROSE
EG: Kate Winslet "Titanic"
Rose: Don't let go, Jack.
TRANSITION BACK TO THE KIDS CHOICE STAGE
AGENT L FROM "MIB" IS NOW WATCHING WITH A KIDS CHOICE T SHIRT ON
Agent L: That Linda Fiorentino is...
Agent J: Better looking?
Agent K: Be careful what you wish for, sport.
JOE IS ABOUT TO TRY THE FIRST KID-TRAPTION
JTT: Joe give me a Kids Choice Winner and a jumbo sized popcorn, buddy!
JOE PULLS THE LEVER THAT RELEASES A TON OF POPCORN INTO A GIANT POPCORN BOX
THIS CAUSES A PULLEY TO START A MOVIE PROJECTOR THAT SHOWS THE WINNER OF THE AWARD
JTT: And the winner is...
THE FILM'S COUNTDOWN LEADER GOES TO THREE, TWO AND ONE AND AN IMAGE OF BATGIRL IS SHOWN
JTT: Alicia Silverstone, "Batman and Robin"!
ALICIA COMES OUT ON THE STAGE THROUGH AN ELEVATOR
BARBRA GORDON FROM "THE NEW BATMAN/SUPERMAN ADVENTURES" CHEERS HER ON
Barbra: At least I'm not Alfred's niece
Jim Gordon: Babs, you're always my hero.
Alicia: You guys are awesome. Before I thank everybody, I would apologize to the fans thinking that "Batman and Robin" wasn't what you expected to be. I WOULD like to thank George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, everybody on the film. But I'd also like to thank Amy Heckerling who put me in "Clueless" and made me a star! I would also like to thank the Olsen Twins even if I didn't win two years ago. Thank you Nickelodeon.
To be continued...
YOU ARE READING
1998 Kids Choice Awards (My Version)
HumorHere's what I think would have happened at the 11th annual Kids Choice Awards
