It'll Always Be You - JJ Maybank

We're Over.

Trigger Warning: Detailed flashback of a sexual experience with a 15 year old and 19 year old during a breakdown. 

My thoughts are jumbling together while I whip through the cut, the last bits of the sun is warming my skin, the wind on my face and in my hair all while my heartaches. I know my boys deserve so much better than me, but it's not like I wanted Rafe to kiss me, so it's not my fault. I didn't cheat, I was put into a situation and I.. and I.. fuck. My driving is a bit erratic, but I don't care, I have bigger things to worry about right now.

I nervously park my bike next to JJs in the driveway at the Chateau, almost falling in the process. When I turn around, all my friends and my boys are watching me, making me cringe. I quickly wipe my nose to make sure I don't have any coke or blood before walking up to the porch, smiling at everyone.

It's pretty obvious that I'm shit faced right now, the worried expressions around me make me want to leave and hide away so no one can see me like this. I stop in my tracks when I notice Kie isn't here and Sarah is sitting on the porch couch, "Are y'all like--"

"That's Rafe's shirt." Sarah cuts me off, her brows raised when she looks between my face and the navy blue surfing shirt I'm wearing.

I look down, guilt washing over me again, "Yeah.. I spilled beer on my shirt so he--"

"You were partying with him?" Sarah looks behind me, but I don't turn around because I know I'll be met with the angry faces of my boyfriends, "In the middle of the day? He was wearing that shirt when he left the house."

"I know." I frown when I see John Bs glare, "I didn't.."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"It wasn't like that, Johnny, we.." I pause, my lips pinch together while I try to hold back tears, "I went to a friends house and he was there and I was.. I was upset because of my fight with JJ and.. and he was comforting me--"

"You fucking cheated?" JJ booms behind me, "What, because I took your fucking coke away from you so you go and fuck Rafe to get back at me?"

"No." I breathe out, keeping my back turned to them, "It wasn't my fault.. I promise."

I feel a hand grasp my arm, my body spins around, making me flinch. When I open my eyes I see Mason's honey brown eyes staring down at me with so much pain in them, "Please, baby, please tell me you didn't sleep with him."

"I didn't sleep with him, Mase. I promise." I cry, "But.. he.. he kissed me. I told him he can't do it again, that I love you and JJ, and.. and he said he wouldn't but I still feel bad so I partied to make myself forget it happened but it didn't work, it's all I can think about because I don't cheat." I crash into his chest as sobs rack my body, "I'm s-sorry."

Mason lets out a slow sigh, his hands pull me in close, "You scared me, Riley."

I feel more arms around me, the sharp scent of old spice fills my nose, making me cry harder. Because I love this smell, and the musky citrus cologne Mason wears that I picked special for him. I might have liked Rafe's cologne, but that's nothing compared to the way my boys smell.

"I don't want you around him anymore." JJ mumbles against my hair between kisses, "I knew he liked you."

"Okay." I pull away, sniffling while JJ wipes my tears for me, "I'm sorry."

"We're not mad." JJs eyes dart between mine, mirroring the same sad look, "I'm just glad you're safe, we were worried you would.."

"I know." I let him pull me into his lap after he drops onto the couch, I tuck my arms between us and hide my face against his neck, "I wasn't going to hurt myself. I just wanted space because you scared me."