Last Time I Saw You. [DRICKI]

1.

O'Nylee "Nicki" Maraj

Tears fall down my face as I sit next to my mom, as she holds tightly onto my hand. I really couldn't believe that this moment really happened. I knew eventually that it would happen, but it just seems so surreal, even now. My father Robert Maraj taken away from his family by some drunk who didn't care about anyone's life and fled from the scene. I know my father did some horrible things in his life; but he was finally changing for the better . Him and Mom was about to work on things, we had finally had a conversation. Things were looking like they were finally working out. And one day he goes back home (Trinidad) and he's gone.

Since Jelani was in prison currently, I had to step up in his place and be there for my mother and my siblings. Even though I didn't want to speak at my father's funeral,  I knew my mom wasn't gonna be able to say anything. I take a deep, shaky breath looking at the empty space where my husband should be. He said he had more important things to do then come and support me at the time I needed him the most. I remember it was a time where it would upset me, but now I'm just numb to his excuses.  I knew he was with his side chick.

" I would now like to give O'Nylee Maraj the opportunity to speak on the behalf of the Maraj family ", The pastor says, giving me a friendly smile.

I try to return the smile as I wipe the tears that spilled down my face. I give my mom hand a light squeeze as I let it go. I take a deep breath walking up the stairs to the podium, I tried to write down the speech, but I felt like that wouldn't do my father Justice. I wanted to speak from my heart. It wasn't many people there,  just my mom, siblings, and some of our cousins also some of my father's close friends. As my eyes looked through the crowd, it was one face I was suprised that even came. He was sitting next to my father's best friend, Dennis Graham. It was his son, my first love Aubrey "Drake" Graham.  Those big brown eyes meet mine, saying a thousand words.

I quickly avert my eyes, closing my eyes to keep more tears from spilling.

" I'm sorry, this is just so hard to come to terms with", I say softly into the microphone, my eyes still closed.

I hear a "few take your time" as I struggle from keeping myself from breaking down in front of all these people. I open my eyes again, looking at Drake who still was looking at me. He mouthed "It's okay". I let out another shakey breath, nodding my head. I didn't pay attention to some of the confused faces, wondering who I was responding too.  I kept my speech simple but I just spoke from my heart,  expressing my love for my father and how much Myself along with our family would miss him. I even reflect on a few childhood memories and earned a few laughs.