The Crater

Chapter 20 - Adoration

(A/N: I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it)

____

Adoration. That was, to say the least, what Sarah felt for Holland.

The place looked amazing, and she was smitten completely when she walked hand-in-hand with Holland. You couldn't help but feel a tingly bit of jealousy from seeing two people that much in love. And most of all, to be able to live their love as freely as they did.

I was looking around to see if Cate was anywhere around, but so far she was still the only one missing.

"Sweetie, do you want me to change that water for you?", asked Helena who was sitting next to me.

"Oh, that's kind. I'm good though", I smiled. I was holding the same glass of Mojito for the past hour, trying to stay as sober as possible. It tasted pretty much like watered-down peppermint lemonade.

"What happened to the tequila boss?", wondered Constance.

"Not today, Satan"

"Talking about that, where's the rest of Candy?", said Rihanna earning a look from me. She was all mischievous.

"Right, where is she?"

They all were looking at me waiting for an answer. This is what was the most fucked up part of the story. For the past months, we were together all the time, and now, we were barely talking to each other. And they didn't seem to notice the change.

"I... I don't know"

"But you are always keeping tabs on her!". They all laughed. Definitely, Rihanna was pushing it tonight.

"Talking of tabs, maybe I should refresh my drink. Be right back"

Nope. Sobriety wasn't the answer for tonight.

______

"Well I have heard so much about the leader of this fine gang", said Holland coming closer with a grinning Sarah.

"I suppose not all good things from a thief"

"Oh, definitely all good. It's a real pleasure to meet you". She hugged me as if we had known each other forever.

"Likewise! How is this old town treating you?"

"Fantastic. Although whatever city is a thrill with this lady around", she said pointing at Sarah.

"I suppose her grin speaks volumes", I laughed at her.

Sarah hugged me as if trying to make things normal. Something that I still failed to understand.

"You know me too well"

Holland's phone began to ring, and she kissed Sarah excusing herself for a moment.

"So...on a scale from 1 to 10, how happy are you?"

"A thousand. I missed her way too much"

"She seems very happy as well"

"Yeah, we are dreading her leaving again. But well... you know how it is. When is your family coming back to visit?"

"Yeah, when is Bryan coming back? It's a shame we didn't get to hang out more when he came over", said a voice coming from behind. A voice I knew too well. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I turned around to see Cate, who finally arrived. A look of smugness all over her face.

"Excuse me for a second", I said and walked away to the terrace. Not before seeing Sarah make a face and smacking her arm.

Why?

___

"Sandra, wait!" She rushed behind me.

"What, Cate? What the fuck do you want now? Hasn't it been enough?"

"It's not that, I don't think you understand"

"What don't I understand? That you don't give a fuck about what happened? Believe me, I DO understand that. The thing is I can't believe it, because you got me so convinced with your grand speeches. With everything that happened in Long Beach...". Tears were forming in her eyes. "And here I am slapping myself because I made a fucking decision. For my kids, putting them before me. And the last thing I expected was that you were lying to me..."

"I never lied to you", she said barely above a whisper.

"Oh, didn't you?! You are the best actress in the world, but to be honest, that was a bit much". Her lips were trembling. She was focused on the floor as if her life depended on that. She never looked at me, which was enraging me even more. "How could you fake everything?"

"I didn't fake anything, Sandra!", she yelled as she grabbed my arms. "I'm fucking faking it now, here and on set because I'm dead already. And I don't get it, I've never experienced this before and it is taking all my willpower not to collapse in front of everybody. It killed me, your decision killed me. I understand where you're coming from, but...it's not...". I think she realized she was maybe grabbing me too hard, and yelling too loud. Her breathing was heavy, I didn't know how she wasn't crying. She let go of my arms, defeated.

"You think I don't care? Do you think it's easy for me to see you every day knowing that we're done? And that if I fight back I'm being a bitch for tearing a family apart? Not to mention that I also lost my friend because it is impossible to go back now". My eyes couldn't stop shedding tears hearing and seeing her that destroyed.

She grabbed my face, this time softer. "I could have never faked what happened. You could see right through me. I...I...". She rested her forehead on mine, shutting her eyes close.

She kissed me, freezing me on the spot.

Her lips felt like home. Soft and delicate, but sure of what they were doing. I closed my eyes and let her carry me through that kiss.

My heart was about to explode, it was pounding in my chest. I grabbed her by the waist to have some stability. I pulled her closer.

She pushed me against the wall, deepening the kiss as hard as she could. She grabbed my hair, tangling her fingers in the curls.

How have I missed her! Our bodies fit like puzzle pieces. A perfect match.

She suddenly broke the kiss and looked again at me. A mixture of pain, sadness, and love. Most of all, love. She touched my lips with her thumb, also removing the lipstick that probably was smeared all over my face.

"I love you, Sandra. And I'll always love you with whatever is left of me".

She pecked my lips and let go of me. She walked away, while I stood there staring at the halo she left behind.

"So...", said a voice startling me, reminding me to breathe again. I hadn't noticed somebody else was on the terrace.

I turned around to see Holland there, playing with her lighter. "What did you decide to cause all that?"

Fuck.