The Crater

Chapter 21 - Nightcap

"Seriously! Why do you have to be such a bitch! Tell me that you fixed it", asked Sarah totally enraged

"I did". I approached the bar and asked for vodka. I took the shot and downed it in a gulp. "So, I must go now"

She grabbed my arm. "No fucking way! First of all, clean up your face, because I believe that's how you 'fixed' it"

I took a napkin to clean the lipstick.

"Done. And second?"

"Cate, that's not the way to handle things. You fuck up, make out and leave? I know what she did, but that's not the answer"

"I shouldn't have come in the first place. You said so yourself"

"I said that because I was thinking about your feelings, but then you come and act like a total jerk to her! Pushing the knife further in. It's not fair!". She was nearly yelling.

"Okay, calm down"

"Cate, be a grown-up. Tomorrow and the day after.. and the fucking day after you're STILL WORKING TOGETHER"

This was completely messed up. It was a chasing game, an eternal yes but no but yes but no... I was tired of faking, I was tired of missing her.

And after that kiss, I think she was missing me too.

"You're right. But it's just that I don't know what to do. If I try to be normal to her, she feels that I was faking it before. If I'm not, then I'm pressuring her..."

"Cate, this is not going to be back to normal in one day. You just have to give it time. She knows how you feel, and that should be enough", she tried to reassure me. I sat down and ordered another vodka.
_____

"Hey, where were you? I missed you". Holland came back after a while.

She kissed Sarah before answering. "In the terrace..."

I looked up and met her eyes. Panic washed over me. Had she been there the whole time?! Did Sandra notice that she was there? She would probably freak out now if she knew.

She half opened her mouth, but I think words failed her, and she just gave me an apologetic look.

Then they both half-smiled and I felt a hand on my shoulder. "So I think I need a new drink. What are you guys having?", asked Sandra.

I hesitatingly turned around to face her. "Uhm, I'm having vodka"

"I'll take one too, then". Sandra softly smiled at me and caressed the nape of my neck, sending shivers pretty much everywhere.

"We are going to dance. Join us later?", asked Sarah.

"Sure, we will catch up in a while". I saw Holland wink back at her. "Do you mind if I sit here with you?"

"Please do". I was very nervous, it seemed like too much was happening in a short period of time.

"So...", we both said at the same time. We giggled at that. Seeing her smile filled my heart.

"I think now somebody else knows about us"

"I...figured. I swear I didn't know she was there"

"I know. Neither did I. But she pretty much saw and heard everything". She seemed weirdly calm about that.

"Did she talk to you?"

"Well, after you left, she approached me...". She played with the liquid in her glass.

"Care to share?"

"Sure, but not here. We can talk later about that"

"Okay...but are you okay with that? I mean..."

"It's funny somebody learned about us in the middle of a fight/make-out session. Especially since it has been days or weeks since we are in this...". She pointed back and forth between us. "Whatever this is"

"Yeah well, I wouldn't know about funny. But are you okay?"

She smiled and looked again at me. "I am. I mean, it's not like I can change that fact, right? But thank you for caring about that"

"Uhm..." This whole night seemed like a surreal dream.

"I miss you, Cate. I hope you know that"

"I...well, didn't know that". Suddenly my shoes were very interesting.

She touched my leg, to make me look back at her. "I do miss you. All the time. I lost my friend too, I lost you. And I would like to think that I haven't entirely yet?"

"I...". I didn't know what to say. She couldn't lose me, that would make things quite easy.

"You don't have to answer. We will figure it out later"

"Okay..."

"Let's go dance, we can talk later. I miss jumping around with you". That made me laugh. She stood up and held her hand up to me.

"Let's"

I felt back to normal dancing with all the girls. As if nothing ever happened. We kept joking as always, explaining our inner stories to Holland who couldn't stop laughing at our idiocy. All of us trying to dance like Rihanna, Sarah imitating and doing voices. We seriously were quite a bunch.

Hours went by, without any of us noticing, until Helena said her goodbyes. That was usually our bell to end the party. We all went back to the hotel in different cars.

Holland hugged Sandra, quite tight. I saw she whispered something, and Sandy just nodded.
____

We ended up alone riding the lift.

"Are you tired?", she asked.

"Not especially. You?"

"Nope". She played with the strap of her dress. "Nightcap?"

How could I say no? I felt that if the night ended, the bubble would burst again. I wanted to stretch time as much as possible. To keep normality in place.

"Of course"

"Let's go to your room. You have better booze than me". We stepped out of the elevator. I could feel her pinky brushing mine.

I opened the door, and for a fast second, I remembered being there lying on the floor. She touched my hair making me snap back.

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"Oh yeah, sure. I'll prepare some drinks. Gin tonic?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll be right back". She came closer and kissed my forehead. "Don't think too much"

____

I prepared the drinks and sat down in the bed. The heels were killing my feet.

"Oh, can I do the same? I think I danced too much I can't feel my toes". She came out of the bathroom and approached the bed.

"Yes, get in here". I patted the spot next to me. "So...-"

"Yeah, about Holland. I'll tell you everything, but hand me my drink first". I obliged and looked at her expectantly.