•blonde and wild• tsitp

•10•

3 weeks later Rose was talking to a counsellor who was going to clear her as stable enough to return home.

"Do you feel as though these last few weeks have gotten easier without drugs?" the therapist asked Rose, she had an attitude towards her like all people there did.

No, Rose thought. "Yes I feel way less dependent than before." she lied through her teeth as this therapist wasn't taught to care enough to push.

"Will you regularly take drug tests for the next month to submit to your local doctor as proof of sobriety?" the therapist asked coldly as she wrote answers on a piece of paper attached to a notepad.

"Yes I will." Rose replied truthfully this time, she could do the month like she had a few times before.

The therapist wrote it down before sighing before another question. "What is one reason you have not to continue drug use?"

"My parents, I feel like slowly they trust me less." Rose gave the generic answer she had given the last two times.

"Alright, you're cleared to go." the therapist stood up from her seat. "I don't want to see you back here again. Your mom can't take this anymore." Rose realized she did recognize this woman from the club.

Rose nodded firmly before leaving the room to go back to her prison cell. "Did you call my brother?" she asked a nurse in the hall who nodded before continuing to walk.

"ROSIE!" Jeremiah exclaimed when his sister came running to the lobby, crashing into his arms. "You look so healthy!" he said this every time she got out, didn't mean anything now and it didn't before.

"You okay?" Conrad mumbled as he hugged her tightly, feeling regret for how he left things with her.

Susannah was next as she held her daughter warmly, the tension from Susannah's attitude weeks before still lingered. "I love you so much my sweet girl." Rose was instantly brought to peace as she forgave her mother's actions.

"Laurel and Belly are cooking up a huge dinner of all your favourites at home." Jeremiah announced as he took his sister's bag from her, carrying it out to the car.

"Rose!" Belly sprinted from the kitchen to hug her friend, almost knocking her over when she did. "Sorry I'm sorry!"

Conrad smiled at the way his sister finally had a laugh since he'd seen her today thanks to Belly. "Come! Eat! You look like you need some real food in you!" Laurel hugged Rose before ushering her into the kitchen quickly.

Rose had a violent urge to run up the stairs, lock herself in her room and consume every substance she had hidden. She started scratching down her legs, couldn't even finish the soup on her plate without wishing it was instead the substances she craved.
Every single thought she had circled back to her drugs stuffed in walls, mattresses, plants, vents, clothes, tampon boxes and even the ones hidden in plain sight. She was about to excuse herself as the urge was too strong to fight, every boundary she'd built with her brain was crumbling.

"Honey?" Susannah suddenly broke through her barrier of thoughts.

"Yeah mom?" Rose scrunched her nose as she stopped scratching down her legs, seeing the beginning of bloody scratches.

Conrad's visible melancholy was noticed by Belly, who couldn't take her eyes off of him.
"The Debutante Ball is this weekend, did you want to go dress shopping with Belly or me?" Susannah asked calmly as though she was speaking to a toddler.

"I'll just go with Bells." Rose replied as Jeremiah turned to his sister and engaged in a distracting conversation.

The moment Rose was alone in her room she began racking her brain for all the places her things were hidden, when her bedroom door suddenly shut. "Rosemary can we talk right now?" Steven came into her room and sat on the bed.

"Yeah what's going on?" Rose swallowed as she prepared to shove down her urges for as long as possible.

"I know you still have stashes in your room." Steven blatantly said. "My friend was a drug addict and uh he almost died when he came back from rehab."

Fuck. Rose wished Steven wasn't such a damn smart kid. "Can't you just be the cool big brother figure and leave me alone?"

"Hell no." Steven was quick. "You are going to live till you're 100, no arguments. I'm not watching you kill yourself with drugs and throw away all your potential."

"Potential?" Rose questioned as she knew she wasn't smart, even before crack.

Steven nodded. "How about those kids you always wanted to have? You have at least 70 names picked out for them."

"You know me too well." Rose laughed lightly as she wiped a tear away.

"Can you just tell me where everything is?" Steven asked silently. "I'll get rid of it and I won't tell Susannah or Conrad shit."

Rose looked up from the ground. "You won't tell Conrad?" this was the moment she could completely turn her life around and let Steven help her be better.

"Stays between us if you're just honest." Steven promised as Rose had a whole movie type scene flash before her eyes, of every drug abuse related moment up to this point.

"Okay." Rose's voice cracked as Steven hugged her immediately.

They threw everything in a trash bag that night, every ounce of weed, every pen, ever tin of opioids, the adderall, the emergency fentanyl, her xanny and even the heroin stuffed in the walls. Her alcohol went too, so it wasn't at the top of her closet taunting her anymore.

"I'm proud of you." Steven kissed her head before leaving the room with the bag as Rose watched it like it was an actual person being removed from her life, because it felt like one. Felt like a part of her life had been removed, someone she depended on for comfort and as an escape.