TIDAL WAVE

01- July

Unlike last summer, I enjoyed the waves.

Even at fifteen I'd imagine myself as a mermaid, my curls dripping, my lips blue. The ocean made me feel magical, it made me feel like I was pretty.

Unlike last summer, I finally felt okay.

"He should talk to you, he's right there." my friend Maisie tells me, we were in the line for lunch, my supposed boyfriend was right in front of me.

I'd be lying if I said I really felt much for Leo. It was high school and so I don't think it matters, really. I can tell he isn't really interested in me so I guess we're just lingering in the titles we gave each other. He is, however, my first boyfriend so I do feel some guilt in not caring about him.

"Flora is so pretty, isn't she, Mads?" Maisie raises her voice just enough for Leo to hear. I already knew he heard them, he was just ignoring it. Ignoring me. That's what's embarrassing about them calling out: I knew there would be no response.

"Yes. Flora, is so pretty. It's sad how her own boyfriend won't-"

"Madeline can you shut up?" I ask queitly, I feel so small.

Madeline has never really struggled with boys. She has a perfect face, a perfect nose and hair. Naturally, everyone turned to her. She wouldn't understand. She's dating one of the most popular guys our school knows right now- Tobias.

They continue to laugh, I laugh just to be included. We stayed quiet until we sat back down outside.

Around this time of year, the sun bakes anyone who steps out, the breeze is euphoric and everyone is out doing something after school.

When I sit at the bench, in the corner of my eye, I see Leo look at me, I turn my back, ignoring him.

Gems, her face bright red, squeals as someone passes by. Our whole group knows who she's squealing at. Evan. He was a boy in my photography that I sat next to. I used to like him too, it seems just to be a phase. He has everything, money, looks- basically anything important to the average teenage girl.

He's friends with Leo, that's how me and Leo know each other.

We all turn to Evan, talking to his friends. I roll my eyes, turning back to her as she shouts, "Don't look, it'll seem weird- I messaged him yesterday." She says. We let her ramble about him for some time, our group has nothing better to do.

Jade and Hannah walk up to our table, I already dread the conversation to come. Hannah just causes drama, I didn't like her very much. She's tolerated because my best friend, Mads, has known her for so long. I've heard Hannah disowned her own cousin.

I eye Maisie, we know what's to come with Hannah. "Hi." Hannah elongates her greeting, I want it to be over already. "Oh my god, Leo keeps snapping me, he's so weird." Just to preface- he isn't weird, she's just obsessed.

After some time of fantasising about boys that clearly don't like her, Hannah leaves, Jade stays. Jade asks, "Are we still going out after school?" and we all look round, nodding. We wanted a picnic, dipping strawberries in melted chocolate at Cove Park.