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A STORY by -CHXSHIYA
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www.lifeofkeira.com
VOCAL TEAM VER !
keira, at jeonghan's funeral: I need a moment with them. Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves* keira, leaning over jeonghan's coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead. jeonghan, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.
dk: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? seungkwan: How did you know I was up until 3am? keira: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* keira: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: jeonghan: ...I did. I broke it. keira: No. No you didn't. woozi? woozi: Don't look at me. Look at seungkwan. seungkwan: What?! I didn't break it. woozi: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? seungkwan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. woozi: Suspicious. seungkwan: No, it's not! joshua: If it matters, probably not, but dk was the last one to use it. dk: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! joshua: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? dk: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, joshua! jeonghan: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, keira. keira: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: joshua: keira... woozi's been awfully quiet. woozi: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* keira, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. keira: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. keira: keira: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
jeonghan: Make her pussy wet not her eyes. dk: Make his dick hard not his life. seungkwan: Break her bed not her heart. joshua: Play with her boobs not her feelings. keira: Get on his dick not his nerves. woozi: Always salt your pasta while boiling it.
dk: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener. joshua: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir's room because they are in love with them. woozi: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night. jeonghan: Oh, to be the heir's best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other. keira: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending. seungkwan: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir's personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.
dk: All right, y'all! Let's take a vote! woozi: A secret vote. Everyone close your eyes. *the Squad closes their eyes* keira: We don't see the result! woozi: Well, just say your vote out loud. jeonghan: Won't we recognize each other's voices? seungkwan: dk has a point.
seungkwan, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass." seungkwan: THERE. Now send it. woozi:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to- seungkwan: JUST DO IT! later joshua: So what does it say? keira, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...." joshua: keira: joshua: Gross-
woozi: Today, keira said a swear word, so joshua said that they were going to wash keira's mouth out with soap. keira replied, "It's okay, I like the taste of soap". Turns out, they've been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles.
keira: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts! jeonghan, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack. joshua, deadpanning at jeonghan: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.
Store Worker: Would a "keira" please come to the front desk? keira, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker, pointing to seungkwan and dk: I believe they belong to you? seungkwan and dk, simultaneously: We got lost. keira: I didn't even bring you guys here with me—
