𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃, max verstappen

16 ; stop beating yourself up

A week had now passed since we had completely disappeared from the scene.

Fans were worried about the Formula One drivers, who only wanted to have two relaxed weeks —

Without paparazzi, without social media.

The news had gone wild as soon as they realized that neither I nor the others had posted anything and for a short time it was even suspected that we had been kidnapped.

But Toto had quickly dispelled this allegation, explaining to everyone that we just wanted some peace and quiet for two weeks.

"Is it still no better?" Carmen stroked my back sympathetically while I hung my head over the toilet bowl. I shook my head in despair, letting an annoyed groan escape my throat.

With heavy limbs, I straightened up again and flushed while shaking my head barely noticeably.

"This is not how I imagined my vacation..." I mumbled to myself, letting the blonde take me in her arms for comfort.

My mind was racing, trying to find a possible answer to the nausea without concluding that I was pregnant —

But my head was blank.

Completely.

The long car journey yesterday had certainly not contributed to my nausea, as we had to stop four times on the way to Italy to make sure I didn't throw up in the car.

Lewis had held my hair and cuddled me to sleep, trying to take my mind off things, but I could see how much the Mercedes driver hated seeing me like this.

He must have thought that my body had suffered too much stress because, just like Carmen, he didn't know about the sex with Max.

The unprotected sex.

Because in our haste to make love, no one had thought about using a condom.

"I'm sure it's just the stress." The kind-hearted young woman who was holding Roscoe assured me, as she had developed a strong protective instinct towards me.

Lewis had laughed it off, but it scared the hell out of me.

"Come on, the two men will be right back. Let's get you to bed so you can get some rest."

Carmen knew about my migraine and had to assume it was one of those attacks —

But these were nowhere near as severe.

Normally, I would also vomit, but not as often as I did now.

"But what about the food you made? What about the activities we planned?" My guilty conscience gnawed at me and wouldn't let go.

"The day is over for all of us. We'll look after you and take the dogs for a walk so they don't terrorize you." Carmen smiled confidently at me as she took me to the adjoining bedroom that I shared with Lewis.

I was so incredibly grateful for my friends and immediately started crying after lying down in the uncomfortable bed.

"What's wrong, darling?" Carmen worriedly patted my face, brushed loose strands of hair from my forehead and wiped the tears from my cheeks before they could run down my cheeks.

"You're all so good to me even though I'm ruining your vacation." A sob escaped my throat, through which the blonde immediately pulled me into her warm arms. Everything from the last few days was bubbling out of me like a volcano and I hated it.

"Oh nonsense. You're not ruining our vacation."

My heart tightened painfully, because I knew that they had imagined their vacation differently and that I was ruining their plans.

It was the last week before the drivers had to return to the track and I was ruining their time because they couldn't do anything and had to mother me the whole time.

"I love you guys so much," I sobbed, taking the brunette in my arms, not noticing the two Formula One drivers.

"We love you too." They all joined in the hug. Lewis scratched my head and played with my hair while the other two pulled away from me.

"You're not ruining anything for us, Tilly." Lew assured me, pulling my head onto his chest and stroking my head so gently that I almost fell asleep again.

"And after what you've been through the last few weeks, it's no wonder you're so miserable," Carmen made their point, which they had been trying so desperately to impress on me for the last week.

"I miss him." I admitted honestly, cuddling up to my best friend as he held me, holding me together as I fell apart.

I was so grateful for them all.

"You guys have to be back on the track next week and I'll ruin your last week." I could feel Lewis shaking his head, but no matter what they said, it was true.

"That's not right, Tilly. We're here for you. Stop beating yourself up." Carmen stroked my leg as she sat at the end of the bed, in George's arms.

"We understand you Tilly, but I think he's made it very clear that it's not going to work out." George tried to cheer me up, but achieved the exact opposite —

Because he was absolutely right.

Max had made it clear that he wanted nothing more to do with me. That nothing would ever happen between us again, even though he had destroyed our relationship.

My heart tightened painfully when I thought about our break-up and how everything had suddenly gone downhill.

Everything happened so quickly and I didn't have a chance to process anything. I wanted to spend more time with my dad, who was gone all the time, and now I had to see my ex-boyfriend every day.

With his new girlfriend.

And his child.

And it made me realize that our entire relationship had been built on a single lie. Because Max had a child while he was in a relationship with me.

I could feel my heart breaking further, falling into pieces.