Lavender & Ice

12. Breaking the Dam

"Here goes nothing." 

Ashima opened her mouth and tossed the tiny piece of purple vegatable in, chewing on it for a minute, and then swallowing. She decided to sit down, just in case. She looked at Kietnan and chuckled nervously. "We'll give it a few minutes. If I've not had a reaction by then, I'll add the rest of that one to my broth."

She could tell he sensed her nervousness. He was sitting on the edge of his chair, his muscles tensed as he watched her. She placed her hand on top of his on the table and smiled. "It's ok." She patted his hand and then removed her hand, placing it back on her lap.

A few long moments later she breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, if I were going to have any kind of serious reaction, chances are it would've happened by now, right?" She asked him.

He looked at her with his face still tense and confused. He said something but she didn't know any of the words. She stood and retrieved the rest of the akulet from its wrapping, ripping it into pieces, and added it to the pot. She wished she could add some more seasonings but didn't want to push her luck. As she stood there waiting on the broth to simmer, she closed her eyes and thought of what else she'd add if she were at home. Potatoes. What she wouldn't give for any form of potato right now. 

She thought of what meal she might provide for Kietnan if she were his host instead of the other way around. She'd rarely seen him eat anything more than the liquid jars. Mainly a piece of one or two things paired with his liquids before he went to bed. So she thought maybe she'd make him soup. One more on the smooth and liquidy side versus a chunky one. A good tomato soup with basil and crackers. Her mouth practically watered at the thought.

She let out a sad sigh and opened her eyes to check on the pot. Steam was beginning to come off the top of the liquid. "Kietnan, do you have a spoon?" She turned and began to move her hands in a motion to symbolize what she wanted but her hands stopped midair. He was asleep in his chair, which was sat turned to the side from the table, his head leaned to his right side on top of his right arm that was lying on the table, his left arm hanging lazily onto his lap.

She looked up at the skylight to see that the sky had darkened. He had slept from midday through early the next morning when he'd first returned from whatever had happened to him. He'd then slept another few hours late morning to early afternoon today. And now he had fallen asleep at the table at dusk. She wondered yet again what had happened to him, but took comfort in the fact that he seemed to be healing. He had at least walked much more easily after his midday nap.

But she frowned when she thought of how he would feel if he slept there for long in that position. She walked over to him and reached out. Her arm stopped when she saw the lines on his shoulder where his wounds were. "You must heal a lot faster than humans do." She said quietly. Her arm continued its journey and she gently touched his shoulder.

As soon as she touched him, his muscles tensed and he twisted as he jumped, grabbing her wrist as he pounced, holding it above her head against the floor while his legs sat astride her thighs. She gasped loudly and her eyes widened in shock. His face was hard and angry, he growled with his teeth bared to show his aggression and her entire body trembled in fear. 

His eyes began to shift just slightly, as if he was trying to figure out his surroundings. With her initial shock wearing off, Ashima let out an involuntary whimper. Kietnan's eyes zeroed in on the sound. Slowly, his face softened and he looked confused for a short moment before surprise covered his face. He quickly released her wrist and stood up off of her, looking down at her with his eyes wide and his breath short. He looked around the tent as if still trying to figure out what happened. He began drawing in long breaths, exhaling them slowly to calm himself. The surprise wore off and his face showed what she assumed was regret.

He took slow, purposeful steps back toward her, bending down while reaching out his hand to help her up. She instinctively flinched and scooted back away from him and he quickly removed his hand. She hated how scared she was, how completely helpless she felt. But it was as if this was the event that finally broke the dam. Tears started pouring from her eyes as all of the fear, the pain, and the anguish of the events that have happened these past several days came at her full force. The uncertainty of her situation was never lost on her, she had simply been holding strong until this moment.

Once the dam broke, there seemed to be no stopping it. She cried for the loss she felt. She would likely never see her family, her friends, her planet, or even someone of her own species again. She was likely stuck to remain on this primitive planet with these angry people for the rest of her life. And she cried for the fear of the unknown. What was her future? Was she to live in this tiny tent for the rest of her life? Alone most hours. And for what? To twiddle her thumbs?

Would there be a day where Kietnan really would never return? Or perhaps eventually he'd grow tired of her and kick her out. She had no promises, no certainties, and right in this moment she had no hope.

Her whimpers had turned into sobs as she sat with her knees up against her chest, clutching her arms tight around them.

"Shima." He whispered, reaching out his hand again, tentatively. This time she didn't flinch but instead looked up at him through her lashes as she raised her head off of her arms. When she saw the gentle expression on his face she practically lunged for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and climbing onto his lap as he sat on his knees. He initially tensed but slowly wrapped his arms around her. She sobbed into his chest, coating his bare skin with her tears. 

~~~~~~~~

Kietnan had never seen or heard anything like the female he was holding in his arms at this moment. He had no idea a being could produce so many tears or show so much emotion. He didn't like it. And he especially didn't like that he was the cause of it. He forced his arms to remain gentle instead of clenching at the anger he felt toward himself.

And worse, he couldn't speak her language to explain himself to her. Participants in the trials were always on heightened alert the entire duration, even while asleep. And the timing was terrible as he was having a nightmare of the attack and the fall into the river. He groaned internally. How could he have let himself fall asleep in such a state? Of course she was probably just trying to wake him. She seemed to have made it her purpose to try and take care of him. He hated it at first, feeling suffocated and annoyed, but at times it was almost... pleasant. At the very least, she didn't deserve mistreatment or to be threatened and scared.

He looked down to realize her crying was slowing and she wasn't breathing as roughly as she was previously. A few minutes later she was entirely still. She was asleep, he realized. He stood and cradled her in his right arm, with her head and body resting against his as his left arm moved the pot from the stove and onto the wooden table. He then wrapped both arms around her and brought her to her cot to lay her down. When he tried to back away, she clung harder to his neck. She was muttering barely audible words and shivering slightly. Her mind, while asleep, was still scared and upset.

He let out a slow breath and tried to decide what to do. This was all his fault, so he had no choice. His honor would be mud if he abandoned her in time of need after she'd cared for his injuries so carefully over the last few days. So he made his way over to his bed with Ashima in his arms.