Waffles

Chapter 5 - Vampire

A/N: this chapter is one of my favorites, and the creature Crowling meets will be showing up again in the future! :) (It's also really long haha)

I checked my list to see who I'd be giving waffles to next, which apparently was a vampire. Could vampires even eat waffles? I had no clue. Regardless, I had creatures to feed and no time to waste, so I got going early in the morning the following day, feeling fresh and awake.

I approached an old house that had a lot of rumors around it, including but not limited to it being haunted, it being the location of a murder, or as harmless as homeless people living in it. However! I knew for sure that a Vampire was in there. I confidently approached the front door.

I opened the front door slightly, since it was unlocked, and leaned inside. I then shouted "Hello, whoever lives here! I brought waffles!" The house was silent for a few moments, then a quiet voice from further in said "Thank you very much... Could you come a little closer?"

Of course, this was obviously a trick for the vampire to get me close enough to attack, but ignoring that, he clearly needed some waffles.
"I know you probably would rather eat me, so just to make sure, I put a bit of animal blood into the waffles!" I shouted as a distraction.

"...Oh? You put blood in the waffles? That's very nice of you." His voice was coming closer to where I stood at the door. "I look forward to having something new to play with." His voice sounded gentle but also slightly menacing, which I ignored, instead replying with "I heard that, and I'm hoping you mean the waffles!"

"No, my dear, I mean to have you." He had somehow gotten behind me, his arms suddenly wrapped around my waist. I looked behind me to see his red eyes glowing ever so slightly. This was going to be annoying.

So of course I shoved a waffle in his mouth.

"Hey, wha-" he tried to talk but the waffle muffled his words, turning what he was saying into a "mmph".
"Is it good?" I asked, completely serious.
He was silent for a moment, then said "It- it's very good." His grip loosened slightly, and I took my chance. I started to wiggle out of his grasp slightly, although one of his hands was still not letting go.

Trying to make the best out of this annoying situation, I said "You like my waffles! Do you want another?"
He nodded, still holding me tightly. I was starting to get very bothered by this.
"Alrighty then, let go of me and I'll give you a whole plate."

His grip tightened even more, and was sort of starting to hurt, since his claws were digging into my side.
"No, I don't think so. The feel of you in my grasp is rather pleasant.

I then shoved a waffle into his hand to loosen his grip, which somehow worked, to my surprise. He let go of me, but then looked sad that he wasn't holding me anymore.
I brushed off my sweater, making sure it wasn't ripped or anything.

"Sorry, Mr. Vampire, I'm on a quest to spread the wonder of waffles to all creatures and monsters, and you were next on my list."
His eyes somehow managed to get sadder.
"So... you won't be staying with me?"
"Well, if you want more waffles, I'll happily come back anytime, but I won't be staying."

And now the typical lonely vampire B.S starts. As I expected.

"But... I want you... I've lived so many centuries alone and finally found someone, why can't you stay?"
Ignoring his question, I said "I'll make you a plushie."
"B-but..." his face turned into one of longing. "I'm a monster, a bloodthirsty demon! So please... stay with me and be my beloved."

I knew this was coming. I frickin knew it. Luckily, my entire skill set consists of dodging situations like this.

"What's your favorite animal?"
The question caught the Vampire off guard.
"I... don't really have a favorite. I've been around for so long that I've forgotten." His expression turned distant. "Why do you ask?"
"If you can't pick an animal, I'll pick randomly," I said, growing somewhat impatient.