attention | gyuricky

epilogue.

The nightmares come back sometimes. They're never as bad as they used to be, but sometimes Gyuvin wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of muted sobbing and he sits up in bed and wraps his arms around Ricky until his tears are dry, as if it's the most natural thing he's ever done. Ricky still has his bad nights, but he knows with Gyuvin there he'll never have to go through it alone again. The comfort of Gyuvin beside him is enough to draw him out of it, sometimes. He's working on it. As much as he wants it all to be over, years of trauma and guilt aren't easy to shake off.

Nothing monumental changes in their daily lives, really. Other than kisses and holding hands and the dates they go on every weekend to places like amusement parks and beaches and movies, life goes on the way it used to; Gyuvin comes home from his morning classes with breakfast and a drink for Ricky, knowing he doesn't like to wake up early, and Ricky takes fewer shifts at the club so he can spend more nights with Gyuvin, studying in silence at the dining table, cooking ramen for supper, lying with their heads on each others' shoulders watching conspiracy theory documentaries about aliens or multiverses or giant prehistoric sharks or some other niche interest Gyuvin had developed for no apparent reason. Anyway, it wasn't like Ricky needed the extra pocket money, as Gyuvin had figured out pretty early on.

"Why do you work at Club Diamond anyway? Your parents are loaded. Don't they give you allowance?"

"They do. It's not about the money. I just liked the idea of working as a bartender. Besides, I wouldn't have been sleeping even if I'd stayed home."

"Anything to take your mind off things?"

"Yeah. I grew to love it, though."

Zhanghao had stormed up to them furiously, a few weeks after they'd started dating, with all the energy of an angry kitten, as the two of them were on their way back to their room from dinner.

"I can't believe neither of you told me you got together!" he says indignantly, fixing them both with a disappointed glare. "How could you?"

Gyuvin almost asks him how he found out, but one look down at their intertwined hands answers his question. Ricky smiles sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. "We didn't think we had to announce it. Sorry, Hao."

"Well, at least it finally happened," Zhanghao answers, hardly appeased. "Junhyeon's gonna be really happy to hear this. In his head you two have been married for five years with two children and a dog."

"Ah, Junhyeon's seriously too much..." Gyuvin buries his face in his free hand, shaking his head. "Don't listen to the stuff he says, Hao, he's crazy..."

Ricky smiles, bemused. "I didn't think you guys were this invested in us."

"Congratulations, you two!" Hao says, shaking Ricky lightly by the shoulders. "Gyuvin-ah, you'd better treat him well. Why do I feel like I'm giving my son away..."

"He treats me great," Ricky laughs, eyes twinkling. "Sometimes I wonder if he's too good for me."

It's just a passing remark, really, but it sticks in Gyuvin's head, long enough for him to bring it up again on their way back home, after saying goodbye to Hao.

"Ricky?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't really think I'm too good for you, right?"

Ricky falls silent for a long moment.

"I never deserved to be treated this well, when all I did was make your life difficult," he begins. "Sometimes I just wonder if you could have had it easier if the person you loved wasn't broken."

"Love is never about 'deserve'," Gyuvin answers. "Love is a choice. I chose to love you. I don't care if I could have had it easier. I don't want to be anywhere else but here, with anyone else but you."

Ricky laughs softly. "You're sappy."

"I meant it, though. I don't want you to think that ever again. Can you promise me that?"

Gyuvin's eyes glow, wide in the darkness, against the backdrop of the downtown city nightscape. Ricky wonders for a second if he's ever loved someone as much as this.

He hasn't, not until now.

"I'll try. I love you too much not to."

A gust of night wind shakes the dry leaves up high in the trees. As the rustling of a thousand autumns surrounds them, two silhouettes walk in the semi-darkness, hands intertwined, hearts inextricable, and in this moment everything in the world is right.

end.