Who We Need To Be

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Danger. It's everywhere even when you think it's not. I know that better than anyone. Even in the safest places it has a way of finding you. But sometimes you can stop it. Sometimes you can beat it. Sometimes if you just run fast enough you can avoid it. Tondc comes to view and I immediately jump down from the horses saddle. I have to warn them. Cage's words echo in my head. "Is everything okay." Octavia is quickly flanking me as I search for Lexa. "Everything's fine." I already lied to Bellamy about where Octavia is so that he wouldn't get distracted but I hate lying to Octavia. I trust her. Lexa is in the center of the village along with Indra and Kane. "Clarke of the sky people has decided to bless us with her presence." I get straight to the point not wanting to waste time on small talk. "Can we talk in private." Lexa can tell by my tone that it's important and nods motioning for me to follow. I notice many suspicious glances turned my way as we walk to the underground chamber. I take a quick glance around the room and get a sudden chill. "Now what's the problem." Lexa looks at me curiously pressing for me to explain. "It's Mt Weather. Raven and I overheard Cage talking about a missile that he plans on using on us." She seems unconvinced and I don't blame her since a missile hasn't been used in several years. "You're sure about this?" I nod we have to hurry we have to get all these people out. Lexa processes this information that I just told her pondering our next move. "We need to evacuate Lexa." Who knows when they are going to use this missile and we are wasting time just standing here talking about it. Lexa is quick to answer "No. We can't do that." No! What does she mean no! Our people are going to die! "If we evacuate they will know that we have a spy inside their walls. "Think of Bellamy Clarke, if they find out that he is a spy they'll kill him." I know she's right but I know Bellamy and I know that he would rather die then let innocent people die for him including his sister. Oh god. Octavia. I can't leave her behind to burn. Lexa is calm and collected which makes me all the more frustrated. "So what we're going to just sit here and do nothing." She moves to one of the tables picking up two pieces of cloth. "Here put this on we'll slip out." She holds out a piece of cloth to me and I take it. This isn't over I refuse to believe that. I'm not going to run away and leave them behind. Lexa is already by the exit waiting for me to follow. "Lexa, we have to do something." She turns back to look at me face hard. "You could've warned them Clarke yet you didn't. You kept it a secret." I am surprisingly taken back because she's right. Oh god. There're going to die and it's my fault. All these people that are here trying to save my friends. Octavia. Bellamy will never forgive me if I let her die. "Lexa please..." I grip at her arms hoping that she will reconsider. "We need to go now." She pulls away from my grasp turning on her heel leaving the room. I look back to the way that we came. I can still go, I can still warn them. I told Bellamy that Octavia was safe. I never should have done that. I look back to where Lexa just was a few minutes ago. I take in a few deep breaths and do what will be my biggest regret. I leave.


On the Ark Wells and I would spend hours in the library reading about the ground. He would always have a look of awe as he flipped through the pages studying the pictures closely. In our minds the ground was beautiful. I place where all our suffering could end. I guess it never accrued to us that it's was what it used to be like. That it's no worse down here then it was up there. Lexa looks on at the sight of the hundreds of bodies being burned. Emotionless. Not cringing at the sound of cries and screams of her own people. I'm not like her. I can't help but tear up. To cry for the ones who are dying for the cause, our cause. My legs move before my brain can say so. Everything is in slow motion, my mind is racing. There is nothing left. How could have I let this happen. Octavia! I have to find her for Bellamy's sake. "Clarke." I turn to Lexa who's eyes are searching the trees, then I hear it. Gunfire. "We need to find that sniper." I turn quickly before she can protest and break into a sprint. I don't have to look back to see if Lexa is following me or not because I know she is. She somehow gets in front of me leading me down a steep hill. I have to slow down reaching out to a tree for support. Lexa has been doing this her whole life so she keeps her original pace getting down the hill with ease. I push off the tree sashaying sideways after Lexa. I jump the rest the way down surpassingly sticking the landing. Lexa keeps her pace swerving her way in and out of the hundreds of trees. The sound of gunfire comes and goes and I can only fear for the worst. I suddenly see a figure's movement making Lexa and I stop short. My hand goes for my gun pulling it out, Lexa pulls me down by a bush. Whoever it is seems to see us too and starts walking towards us slowly. I watch them closely gun ready to fire. "Clarke?" I quickly lower the gun Lincoln?  I straighten up from my crouched position fully seeing his face. I let out a sigh of relief wrapping my arms around him for a quick embrace. "You're okay thank god." He gives me a small nod then looks between Lexa and I. "Octavia said that..." Octavia!   "you've seen Octavia?" He nods still trying to put two and two together. She's okay. "We're pinned down by a sniper that's why I'm here." The sound of another gunshot makes us jump. Lexa moves "We need to go." She brushes past Lincoln who is staring down at me. I have never been really close with Lincoln but he can see right through me. I don't know how but he does and he knows. It's I'm my eyes I know it because they are telling him everything. I knew. I know what I did and I can't take it back. I killed all those people and I will never forgive myself.         

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