football imagines

j. sancho

your eyes were set on your phone that was laying in the middle of the dinner table, the screen lightened up by a picture. your hands fisted the material of your pants as you averted your gaze. though, wherever you looked the photo reappeared. it was burned into your mind and no matter how much you didn't want to think about it, you couldn't.

a sigh scraped past your lips as you closed your eyes, but that only seemed to make it worse. his arm around her waist, the smile on his face as she whispered something into his ear. her hand that was resting on his chest and the glint in her gaze.

you snaped your eyes open. your heart ached. it wasn't the way they stood or how they touched each other. it was jadon's smile – so carefree and pure – that hurt you the most. you couldn't remember one moment where he had looked like this, when you two had been together.

maybe if you hadn't ignored the signs, you wouldn't be in this situation right now. the way he had still talked about her, even though you two had already started getting to know each other. maybe if you hadn't been so stubborn and adamant to act ignorant, all of this could have been prevented.

"say something", jadon mumbled. "please."

you turned around, meeting the gaze of the person, who you had trusted the most for the past few months. you watched as he rubbed the side of his neck, biting his bottom lip. he was nervous, you noticed. although, you two only knew each other for a few months you had immediately picked up on some of his ticks, whenever he was nervous, angry or even lying. though, you chose to ignore the latter most of the times.

"what do you want me to say?", you asked. "that i'm happy for you? or that i understand why you chose her over me?"

he shook his head, "no—"

before jadon had the chance to finish his sentence you cut him off. "then what?" your voice was eerily calm for someone, whose emotions were running at full speed.

he pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes before his attention was fully on you again.

"i don't know", he paused, seemingly searching for the right words to say to you. "just anything really. you can scream and yell at me however long you want. i just need to know how you feel."

you shook your head in disbelief. he couldn't be serious right now. after everything that had happened since you two had met he still didn't know you. but maybe that was for the best. if jadon really cared for you and wanted to make things work he would have paid attention. because you had – to every single detail. 

"maybe if you would have paid more attention you would know how i'm feeling."

your eyes wandered back to your phone, which was still sitting on the table, though, the screen had turned black by now. you reached forward, wanting to – yeah, what did you want to do? turn it back on or stuff it as far into your pocket as possible, hoping you would never have to see that picture ever again? you were torn between a more reasonable decision and one that would only intensify the ache in your chest. however, before you had the chance to choose jadon's hand darted forward and grabbed your device, putting it right in front of him, out of your reach. 

you snapped your gaze up and met his, narrowing your eyes as you waited for an explanation. the footballer sighed and rubbed the side of his neck – yet again. 

jadon averted his eyes, his fingers fiddling with your phone. 

"i'm sorry, okay?" he finally spoke up and looked at you. "i know the apology is probably too late, but please, hear me out."

despite the urge to say something you kept your mouth shut. instead you raised your eyebrows, an expectant look on your face as you waited for him to continue. taking your silence as a hint to keep going, jadon nodded. 

"i've made a lot of mistakes in the last few months. starting with this whole mess right now", he gestured between you. "there's no excuse that would justify my actions and mostly the things i made you go through. i should've been honest with myself, when we first met – you would have deserved that. but i was too much of a coward to admit i wasn't ready yet and you were the one, who had to suffer because of that. if i could rewind time – i promise you – i would do it without a doubt, because you are worth it. though, i noticed that too late."

"i hope you can forgive me someday." 

you listened patiently to his short ramble, taking everything that he said in. although, you had been extremely disappointed and angry with him you could tell that he really meant what he had told you. the way his shoulders hung and his voice broke let you know he was fighting with his own emotions. 

a heavy silence laid over you as you thought about everything. how you two met and how much it had hurt, whenever he had lied to you. or how much he had fucked with your heart. though, at the same time you could tell his actions had hurt him, too. coming into this situation, you were certain it would end with a fight. yet no matter how much you had wanted to yell at jadon and hurt him just as much, you simply couldn't do it. despite all the actions, hurtful words and pain you wanted this to end civilly. because you knew there wasn't a chance that you two could overcome it right now. 

maybe in a different life, with better circumstances, jadon and you would have happend. the two of you would be happy right now and everything would have worked out the way you had wanted. but this wasn't the case. you were here in this situation and no matter how much you wished for an other outcome you knew it wasn't going to happen. 

you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before you opened them again and met jadon's brown ones.

"i forgive you."