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(8-25-23) Wednesday. 

I hate losing someone.
the emptiness that comes with the pain and sorrow.
knowing you will never see them again.
never laugh with them again.
losing someone is a different kind of heartbreak.
worse then heartbreak or a fight with a friend.
knowing that their touch and happiness brought onto you is gone forever is difficult.
funerals are the worst.
seeing all their family weep and mourn someone you just saw a week ago.
but they were just here?
they just promised to get lunch together on Wednesday!
how will i go to our favorite diner again?
our usual waiter will be confused, thinking we forgot about the famous apple pie and sweet tea she brought us every Wednesday and Sunday.
i'll never see it as the same.
i don't see home as the same.
or work the same.
how can i go to a place that we would call every day at?
or a place we visited all the time together?
they are gone.
but they can't be!
our lunch plans haven't been fulfilled.
how could they make plans and bail on me?
this isn't happening.
it isn't until after someone who i have spent half of my life with is buried under the ground that i understand.
they aren't coming to lunch on Wednesday.
or any place ever again.
they are gone.
forever.
how will i explain to our waiter that they aren't coming back?
we go there every Wednesday.
but not next Wednesday.

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