My Silly Stories

#6

"Tell me a capital T True story"  (9-26-23) 

Grief is one thing that I would never wish for anyone. Experiencing it is a painful and unforgettable process to have to comprehend let alone go through. When dealing with grief, you tend to feel less human. You may have more baggage than someone else but that does not make you any less capable of being human.

Nine years ago was the last summer I had with my mom. Heidi, she was the life of the party. She could always make anyone in the room smile. She had that effect where even if you were having a terrible day, she could always make you laugh or give you a shoulder to cry on. That summer we went up to my grandparents for around a month and had the most fantastic time. From going on boat rides to long talks by the fireplace, nothing could have made that summer better. The second we got it was time to focus on going back to school. My family decided to let my brother and I have one last sleepover back to school officially commenced.

I never would have thought that night would be the last night with my beautiful mother. Never being able to hear her voice again or feel her touch again was one of the most difficult things to grasp. Realizing that not just myself, but my entire family was just as much swallowed with sorrow was very heavy for my little nine-year-old self. Experiencing all the aspects of grief and believing that I was not normal was strangling.

"You will heal over time" I got told a billion times. I never suspected anyone was being truthful. They did not experience what I did. They did not see what I was or feel what I was feeling. It took me years to trust that she was not going to walk through the door again. She randomly show up and it would not all be a twisted sick prank. She was gone for good.

Most of the time for families, this event would make them distant from each other and feel like they will never be whole again. And of course, how could Christmas and birthdays ever be the same without someone you have spent with. But this experience made my bond with my father stronger. There has never been a day where I don't hug my dad and tell him I love him before I go anywhere. I never would have put any confidence towards the idea that losing someone I loved would have made my bonds with some people stronger. From all the sadness and suffocating grief, it proved to me that beautiful things can come out of painful experiences.