Finding Heathcliff

Forty-Four

Astrid suppressed a gasp when she felt Azrael's feet leaving the stone ledge and moments after they were slipping through the void filling the pit. She kept her eyes tightly shut until she convinced herself that they were not falling, but rather gliding through the air, the movement reminding her of Rigel's balloon, of its slow downward movement whenever Rigel made it descend.

Finally opening her eyes, Astrid peeked over Azrael's shoulder, mesmerised by how fast the rock walls seemed to move closer to them, the pit narrowing as they slipped by, while the faint light became stronger, dark grey morphing into silver, making the eerie glow emanating from Azrael vanish completely.

She tried to focus on Azrael's thoughts which she could feel rushing through his mind but the glimpses she caught were too indistinct to be interesting, and so she leaned her head against his shoulder, settled more comfortably in his arms and closed her eyes, smiling when she felt his soft lips touch her temple.

Astrid realised that she had fallen asleep when Azrael's feet touched the ground what must have been many hours later, judging by the change in the light-- the silver hues typical of the early hours of rainy days, became the bluish-grey of the twilights of sunless evenings.

"Here we are," Azrael whispered in her ear, setting her down gently, holding her until she forced her sleepy legs to support her weight.

Looking around while blinking away the leftover sleep, Astrid noticed Ramiel and Rigel standing close by, next to what looked like an entrance to a cave. The only difference between this place and the LandEnders' caves was that the void behind their backs was gone, they were at the bottom of the pit, and the stream, having become slower, wider and shallower was flowing lazily into the cave opening in front of them, its course following a path which disappeared within the cave's tenebrosity  a few steps ahead.

"I need to..." Astrid muttered, feeling embarrassed by the needs of her body, which the sound of the stream reminded her of.

"I know," Azrael said, kissing her on her forehead. "You need to wash and eat and everything else. It's better if we stop here for the night, what do you think, Ramiel? Once we move on from here..."

"Yes. It's safer here. We will continue at dawn tomorrow."

Despite having slept the whole day, Astrid had no trouble falling asleep again a few hours later, feeling warm and safe and perfectly content in Azrael's embrace.

"How can I feel so tired again?" she muttered the sleepy apology as her eyes started to close. She wanted to talk to Azrael. There were so many things she meant to tell him, and they had such a little time left...

"You are still recovering, Astrid," he reminded her, tightening his hold around her. "That poison nearly killed you, only a few days ago."

Astrid shook her head incredulously. "I never perceived any danger from Orion. All that I can remember from that day is the scent of almonds... He knew how much I like almonds, I thought... " She shrugged, dropping the subject before it would bring tears in her eyes. "Never mind."

She wasn't ready to talk about it, and neither was Azrael. He wished that the demon would vanish from her memory like he had disappeared from her life. The knowledge that he could wipe her memories clean of him was excruciatingly tempting, it would take very little to... but he wouldn't do it. The demon was a part of who she was, his presence in her life had formed her into the child adult she was now. She would deal with his loss eventually, and even that would form her, it would make her stronger and wiser... He sighed as he watched her falling asleep, his eyes tracing a tear glimmering wetly on her cheek. He kept forgetting how young, inexperienced, and vulnerable she was.

When Astrid woke up in the morning, resurfacing from a nightmare she could not recall thanks to Azrael's softly spoken words coaxing her to return to him from the land of dreams, she found the tent flooded by a sunless light of a cloudy day.

She took a deep, shaky breath when her eyes found his watching her intently, the seafoam irises never looking quite the same, just like the sea.

He, his closenes, his feelings for her would never stop taking her breath away. The depth of her own feelings for him was incredible and inexplicable. She only really knew him for weeks now, but she felt that, given time, they would grow yet, becoming boundless, unlimited... But they didn't have time. Their days were counted.

She closed her eyes, offering her lips for a kiss, and he obliged, pressing her closer to him as he read her thoughts.

"If we turned back now..." she whispered. "Maybe we could live together, hidden in Vega, or with the LandEnders..."

He pressed a finger to her lips, making her despairing words stop from spilling out. "You would never be happy that way, not with the war looming on the horizon, not while seeing your uncle's unjust justice applied, affecting too many people who deserve better lives. You are a queen through and through. And I... It had never happened before, so I can't be sure, but I suppose that if I didn't turn up to claim my wings, Michael would send a battalion of fallen angels to find me." He sighed. "We don't have a choice."

Astrid nodded, not entirely accepting his resignation. She would talk to Michael...

"You are a warrior, Astrid," he smiled at her thoughts, kissing her again, allowing her to deepen the kiss while he tried to prevent his hands from finding their way under the thin layer of clothing enveloping her warm skin, his mind from wishing he could...

It took all of his will to break the kiss and push her gently away when he felt her curious, demanding hands explore his body.

"We should go," he whispered, afraid that his voice would break should he speak aloud. He could never give her what she was asking for, not when he knew that he would have to leave her soon. They were not meant for each other, and if they let the feelings between them grow any deeper, they would both suffer so much more when the time to part arrived.

"Yes," she agreed, hiding her face in his chest, her hands wrapped so tightly around him that he couldn't move, his own arms mirroring hers, encasing her into him.

They didn't move until they heard Ramiel calling them from outside.

The moment they finished their breakfast after they had packed, they followed the stream into the dark cave. Ramiel led the group with Rigel at his side, Azrael and Astrid close behind, one of Azrael's hands closed around Astrid's, the other curled around his bow apprehensively.