All The Stars In The Sky And I Choose You

Horcruxes

Horcruxes

September 7th 1979
-Regulus Pov-

     It had been two days since I had left Sirius's house; I didn't know what overcame me, but I just knew I needed to destroy all the Horcruxes soon. I felt weak, but not in a bad way. Maybe that was self destructive of me to think that way. I had hardly eaten and maybe that's what is so self destructive.

In seventh year I had fully stopped eating and instead constantly worried about my looks, but maybe that was the pressure from my mother. My mother during seventh year especially got a lot harsher with her comments, but that was only because she was trying to marry me off.

I somehow avoided the marriage portion with some half idea she accepted, but that left me with insecurities.
Pandora was my true savior and helped me through my mental issues mostly, but some of them just never go away like the nagging voice in the back of my head telling me to end it and I will never be good enough for anyone.

That is what I would call self destructive, but of course I will never just come out and say that, but I know Sirius knows this. The look he gave me only two days ago told me he knew and read right through me and that's what scares me, the way he can read me and just knows, scares me.

I left but maybe I was just insane to do so but I convinced myself it was for the good, I could destroy the Horcruxes and end this war.
That is where I found myself now, two days later.

I walked into the Riddle house, now long abandoned and decayed ages ago. I wasn't sure what exactly I was looking for, but I had a feeling the Riddle house would have some answers to my questions.

I walked in carefully, maybe now fully sure if I was going to set right on fire, which wouldn't be fully expected with the Dark Lord and his clever ideas. Thankfully, I didn't. Instead, I got a creek from the floorboards below me.

I looked around, everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, but what caught me off guard was the change in sound below me as I walked on the floor. The floorboard I walked over sounded more hollow.

I turned around and kneeled to investigate. I knocked on the wood a few times before I pulled on the board, revealing a small metal box under. I picked up the metal box and made sure the floor was back in place before I left quickly. Not wanting to spend another minute in that creepy house, I felt a tingly sensation on my neck that made the hairs stick up as if I was being watched as I walked down the long driveway. I looked over at a small patch of trees and saw a figure before they swiftly disappeared.

"Shit," I whispered. I knew now I had messed up and revealed I was still alive. That person who saw me wasn't just any old person, It had to have been a Death Eater. No other person would know about the Riddle house and actually care to go to it.

I made it back to the small room I had been staying the night at in what many would say the crappy part of the Muggle world, but it was the only way I wouldn't be noticed so here I was sitting in the dingy hotel room. I sat down and placed the box in front of me. I couldn't feel any magic radiating off of it, which meant no protection.

This felt too easy, but I opened the box carefully, anyway. As I lifted the lid, it was like being hit by a tsunami of dark magic. I could now feel the magic radiating off of one item in particular, a ring.

I carefully picked up the ring and examined it. It had a black gem in the middle, which seemed to be the core of the dark magic. This was definitely a Horcrux. It felt like the cave all over again. I was fighting for my life just under the surface of the lake but unable to get my head above the water; I was pleading for my life. I was screaming and crying, but nothing in return helped me. I could almost see James, but he was just too far away, just barely out of reach, but still out of reach.

This somehow led me to a Muggle bar somewhere in France, but I couldn't remember exactly where I was, as the alcohol made my mind fuzzy. But that was the whole idea. I didn't want to feel anymore. I wanted to feel numb and unaware of anything. I wanted everything to just go away. I took a big swig of whatever was in my cup. I just got whatever the bartender said was good since I didn't really know Muggle alcohol, but whatever it was, it was definitely doing the job.

It wasn't long before I was so out of it, I could feel everything spinning. I tried to keep my eyes open, but I just couldn't anymore. I took one look around and the last thing I saw was what looked like James before everything went black.

"I understand Icarus.
I died once, too
Trying to kiss
The sun."