Standing Next To You

~ The one where you ignore everyone

After ignoring everyone yesterday they finally left you alone around 3 am. You yourself don't know how late you slept. The only memory you have is the book in your hands getting heavier and heavier and feeling the warmth of the sun on your back.

A sharp pain enters your brain and makes you wake up immediately. You're laying on the couch, headphones still blasting music and your book is on your lap. Wanting to rub your head you are met with a booktap. For a while you don't move but the urge to go to the toilet is too big to ignore. In the bathroom you are met with your reflection. Hair is messy, skin is not skinning, eyes are baggy and the worst of all marks of you scratching your skin are visible. Normally this would be a sign for you to take a shower and fix your appearance but for once you don't care.

Hearing your door open you sigh and take your place back on the sofa. It must not come to a surprise when you see Naza, Hobi and Taehyung enter your apartment. Jungkook must be busy with his job and you are happy that he isn't here with the others.

Putting your headphones on you resume your book even though the music seems to make your headache worse.

Naza tries to talk to you but you ignore her. Part of that comes because you know you would cry again and you promised yourself not to cry because of him again. Hobi cooked for you in the kitchen but it ended up cold and untouched since your appetite is nowhere to be found.

It's kind of funny. Everybody is gathered in your house to make you feel less lonely but it makes you twice as sad. You just wanna be alone. Wanna forget. Probably can't forget but you think you can try. The act is sweet but it makes you feel more vulnerable. Makes you look weaker.

Next to you your phone lights up. Met with a call from Jin, you decline. He has left you about 30 messages apologizing and asking for a talk and has tried to call you 17 times.

Another message comes through:

Jin: Can we talk or I can come see you at your apartment. 

A new passcode needs to be entered since Jin knows the old one. Feeling the weight of the words on your tongue you can't seem to form a phrase. The best thing is to text someone

Me: Can you change the password on my door to 13430?

Naza: You can just talk to me...

Me: <3

Naza hops off the couch and walks straight to your door. Met with a few beeps you wait till the new passcode is installed.

'Done.' Naza says

A relief flows over you making you slump to the couch. How stupid of you not to have changed it yesterday. The possibility of Jin coming back yesterday was big but you are happy that he didn't have the guts for it. Deep down you wonder if you wanted him to have those guts.

The bubble is broken and you don't know if there ever will be a bubble again or if you want to be back in the bubble in the first place. Deep in thought you are so unaware of your surroundings. You didn't listen to how they made a plan that would make you furious.

'Who has his number?' Naza asks.

'I have his number.' Hobi says.

'If she asks which one we called just by saying my name she will forgive me. I am eventually her best friend.' Hobi scoffs.

'Please she would pick me any day before you.' Naza smiles.

'Kiki talk if you are better friends with Naza then me!' He screams.

Naza hits Hobi  in the head. Met with silence Hobi put out his tongue at Naza.

'Oh please, she is too deep into her eighth book to notice what we're doing.' Naza bickers