SIMRAN's POV:-
"I wonder how people fall and fail and then pretend that it's all okay! Why can't they just let the feelings come out? "
"Let it go. Stop putting on that mask "
"I hope you heal and hope you get the actual reality check by then."
Arghhhhhhhh!! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Just shut up okay!!
I wake up with a bang in my head and profusely sweating.
Shruti:- You okay?
She asked concerned
Simran:- Yes! Yes, I am It's uh just a bad dream.
Shruti:- Well I doubt if it actually was a bad dream or if you replaying the events from the night.
Simran:- I was blabbering stuff all night! Wasn't I?
Shruti passes me the "DAWN DAMAGER"
as she speaks
Yes! These lines on repeat since you came back
Also, add" I am not wearing a fucking mask; I am not pretending; I am not living in denial" to it
Simran:- What the!! Ughhhhh my head will fall off Shru!
I feel like someone digging a million nails in my head!! Hammering it with all the force into my brain!
Shruti:- Gulp it down puraa
She says pushing the glass toward my mouth
And these things happen
When a. You drink pure saal ka daaru in a single night AND
b. Make me lose my appetite by not responding to a single call or message
Simran gulps down the whole drink in one go and as she opens her mouth to speak she is interrupted by Shruti saying
You Dunce! Moron! Didn't you think it was important to tell me about your whereabouts at least? Or have you made it an annual rule to make Me petrified once in a while?
Simran:- I am sorry Shru! Really I just can't explain to you how bad it becomes when it's August 31st!
Shruti:- Well yes keep hanging there! Keep sobbing for that asshole till you see the very last August 31st of your life!
Saying that she marched out of their shared hostel room!
I wish I could ever tell you! How bad it becomes! How necessary it becomes to escape from the people I love during that time!! I wish if I could ever explain to you how heavy it feels! To keep smiling when all I want is to scream! To be found within this trance of my long-lost soul! I wish I could tell you!
Tell you that I am tired! Tired of putting the mask on tired of pretending or living in denial!
As Simran ponders over! Reality strikes and she gasps in disbelief
Wait!! What! No!! NO NO! IT CAN'T BE THE TRUTH!!
But if it's not then why do I keep repeating these in my subconscious? Does this means
"Yeah, it exactly means what you are thinking!"
But lypso!
Calypso:- You are too sober to accept the facts right now Simran! Stop pushing facts away!
It means whatever the guy said! It is true?? I was living in denial? Putting up a smile when all I want is to yell and cry out!?
Calypso:- "Keep pondering over that!! You will soon realize the reality!! The reality that the identity you are portraying in front of people is actually the identity you should have long thrown away to let yourself heal"
The day went by! And to be honest it felt as if it passed in a blink! Simran kept thinking about all the possibilities of how she could be right in a way that she was not pretending that she was really happy! But the more she thought the more she got to know that she was indeed ALIVE IN DENIAL!
It was almost afternoon! The only thought that ever interrupted me was "I WOULD BE GRADUATING IN TWO MONTHS"
and then it would again go like Was it worth it? Worth spending 4 years over someone thinking I moved on? I thought I was happy! I thought I healed when all I did was endless scratching to the wounds!
The thought that "SHE DID NOT NEED TO BE LOVED" was it worth?
YOU ARE READING
THE ANTIPØDËS
FanfictionSome people are too hard to love! But strangely enough, those are the people that need most of it. And you know what's even weirder these people love too hard too! There is love that is perceived beyond this world!! Love can be so unpredictable at...
