231023 12:00 am
Why do I get so unexplainably teary-eyed at the tiniest of things?
Is it trauma? Is it pent-up emotions?
I just wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend. That's all I wanted.
Sometimes, it just feels like he has so many way better things to do than spend time with me. I try to sacrifice the things I need to do to spend time with him and not get in his way, but I feel like I just get hurt that way.
I never really thought of just telling you that I wanted to spend time with you. I never thought of actually sharing that I wanted in that moment.
Maybe it's your tone, your self confidence that makes me scared, that makes me want to hide in my shell. But I don't want it to sound like it's your fault. I fully think it's mine.
It's so fucked up isn't it?
I need to learn to deem myself important. I need to learn to care about my own wants and needs.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this with me. I'm sorry that you have to see me like this. I'm sorry that I am like this.
I don't think you know how much you help me. I am so thankful that you are sticking by my side. You are teaching me things I always needed to learn, helping me unlearn things that I shouldn't have learned in the first place.
My mind is going in circles, but I'm getting there.
I'm sorry that my problems have to impact you
Thank you for helping me solve the mess you didn't create.
231023 3:28 pm
YOU ARE READING
My Existence
RandomJust stuff I want to share with someone but I have no friends so I'm gonna put them here. btw sorry if there is any bad english.
