resolve // 5SOS

46

Ally

"Ow!"

"Sorry,"

"Ow that really hurt, Auntie Sierra,"

"I'm sorry, my arm slipped. Are you okay?"

"Yeah it just really hurt. It's my bad shoulder. It really hurt,"

"Sorry sweetheart. Is there any way I can help?"

"Ow,"

"Is everything okay?" Axel asked, walking into the kitchen, "Holy shit, that cookie batter smells good,"

"Auntie Sierra accidentally hit my shoulder and it really hurts,"

I started crying- I had held my anxiety in all day. It had been a good day, we went shopping and ended up going to a gallery where I saw lots of nice paintings. Being at this house was a safe place for me, but I had been anxious all day.

Now it was coming out. Stupid.

"I will see what we have to help the pain,"

"Well it doesn't hurt that much, but it hurt,"

"Oh right,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be sorry! Why don't you and Axel go and calm down, I will get Luke to finish these cookies then they will be nice and warm for you to eat,"

"Yeah, okay,"

"Alright sweetheart. I didn't mean to, I am sorry,"

"I know you would never hurt me,"

"Good,"

I followed Axel up to the guest room he was staying in, that I also wanted to sleep in even though Gabi said I could have her bed. When we climbed in, I curled up next to him and cried for a bit longer, his hand gently resting on my bad shoulder.

"Is it the photos?"

"Yeah,"

"Sucks, doesn't it? I mean look, we are in the spare room and theres still a photo of Gabi,"

He laughed a little, then started tearing up too. He didn't usually do that infront of me.

"Do you ever wonder why it was us?"

"Yeah. It wasn't our fault though," I said.

"I know, but why did we have to go through all that? I am so grateful for dad, and I feel so, so blessed he is in our life... but why did we have to go through that to meet him,"

"Maybe he wasn't ready to be a dad,"

"Our parents weren't ready to be parents either. Why were none of our parents ready?"

"We were mistakes, Ax," I mumbled, "That's why. I always wonder why it was us or why is it anyone, but it just is that and I am happy we have dad now,"

"We weren't mistakes,"

"Yes we were. That's why they abandoned us and that is why I am hurting, and confused. I feel like I do wish we had known dad our whole life, but my main issue is that I feel like I don't have enough time anymore with him. I never want it to end, living at home and being at school,"

"We still have two more years,"

"That's not enough. I never wanna die I just wanna live with dad forever and ever and have so much fun. He never makes us feel unwanted,"

"We weren't mistakes, that's my point. Ashton is our dad and he was meant to be our dad, I am just pissed off it took what it took to get to it. I need to get over it,"