Cool For The Summer

Only told the moon

"It's only July, I don't know how many seasons i will be allowed to love you yet" 

Y/n frowned as she threw the bottle of whine some where in to the grass, remembering the time Jenna was here in Crema, how she called her, how they dated for a while but it didn't work out due to Jenna's schedule of course, as always... 

Y/n had been a miss since then, this happened in June-July, it was now October, al most November in a few days 

She stumbled her way home, as she lit a cigarette, a few tears escaping her eyes 

"Non capisco..." (I don't understand)Y/n spoke as she looked up frowning at the moon, it was a full moon 

" Moon, ho paura che tutti i miei pensieri assomiglino a lei, ti parla come me?"
  (Moon, i'm scared that all my thoughts look like her, does she talk to you like i do?) 

"Dio, mi sono innamorata di te..." (God i fell so hard for you) Y/n said as she stopped at the spot where they had made love... 

She sat down, feeling that painful feeling in the middle of her chest, as she shut her eyes remembering what had happen there 

"I'd love it if my first time was with you...I love you Jenna "

Jenna's eyes sparkled "I love you too" 

Y/n let out a cry, as she touched the spot where it had happen, Jenna left a mark on her, Jenna made her hers, and it literally happened, Scotti was Jenna's, her heart and mind belonged to her, She was frozen in time, in her mind there was no way of erasing what had happen, she had tried, no matter how much she would drink...she just couldn't stop thinking about her...

She didn't know what to do anymore, she was tired, she was sad... 

She picked her phone up, she really couldn't see, everything was fuzzy, she was dizzy, the tears weren't helping at all 

She called Billie, it rang and it rang... 

"Y/n...?" 

"Billie I'm sorry for calling again i just..." Y/n broke down sobbing again, the other line silent 

"I don't know how to let go of her...i gotta move on but i'm not sure if i can keep trying i can't lie i know i told you i don't love her anymore but i still love her so so much, i'd do it all again and try to make everything okay. and make everything work out...even if i know how it'll end... i'd do it all again i'm here where something special happened and it hurts...i just.... i don't know anymore..."  

The line was silent...but y/n was aware, she wasn't there 

"Anyways i'm sorry if i woke you up Eilish, i love you  call me when you can yeah? thanks for listening my phone is dying anyways "

She hung up quickly as she laid down on the grass, feeling the October cold, it was a cold night 

"I'd do it all again Jenna"  Y/n said as she slowly fell asleep in the cold night... 

Jenna wipped her tears as Y/n hung up...