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𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌. kissing, ooc dan heng? he curses a lot, usage of pet names, he wants to fuck you ngl, this book is just self-indulgent ajdsjjdflfke
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𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗢 𝗔 𝗠𝗘𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗬 long gone, dan heng could see it — see the way your gaze softens but not for him. his stomach drops and it repulsed him, a fool he is, the very thing he thought he wasn’t. yet here he is before you, loving you too much that he was willing to act like a fool.
“dan heng? what do you mean?” fuck, his name always sounded so sweet when you called it. dan heng, you call, not dan feng. aeons, i must be insane.
dan heng shakes his head. “nevermind, sorry for keeping you.” his gaze softens when he sees you smile, for him, and he greedily took what he could get. with a frustrated sigh, he dismisses you before he’s tempted to pull you to his shitty excuse for a bed and keep you there for a few days.
“good night, dan heng,” you murmur, and perhaps it was the resurfacing memories that made you cup his cheeks, planting your warm lips on his forehead. aeons, dan heng thinks, groaning as something in him snaps. a firm hand shoots out to grip your wrist and in a blur, you find yourself beneath him.
lips met in a blur, desperate, pleading, and you pull him close, tugging at his hair. “d-dan heng…” you cry out his name, his.
“fuck, don’t say my name like that,” he rasps, his grip on your wrist almost bruising, and by the aeons was it the hottest thing you’ve heard in so long.
dan heng manages to regain control, biting his tongue enough to draw blood, the pain distracting him enough to get his mind out of the gutter. so close was he from bending you over his lap. “sorry sweetheart, goodnight,” he murmurs.
you nod and walk out the archives in a daze, lips slightly swollen and hair disheveled, unsure of what just transpired. all you know is the rapid beating of your heart and the obvious flush of your cheeks. you bump on your door on the way back, cursing the inanimate object — kicking it since you’re petty — and plopping on your bed.
taking in a deep breath, you let out a muffled scream on your poor bed. sweetheart, he said. how is this fair when he sounded just like dan feng?
meanwhile, dan heng cursed himself for acting on his instincts. but how can he not? your lips were so soft that he could just graze his teeth over your bottom lip and—fuck! dan heng rubs his reddened face, he refuses to acknowledge how worked up he has become.
he preferred solidarity brought by the years of his imprisonment in the shackling prison since birth, his company being only books. he had read what he couldn’t see, couldn’t touch, couldn’t experience. this intense longing, dan heng hated it, how he so readily succumb to you. he’s not dan feng and will never will be.
so why does he care so much? why can’t he push you away? why does he want you, crave you, need you? dan feng’s memories resurfaced and dan heng bit his tongue to focus on the pain rather than the time you and his previous incarnation spent together.
“dan heng.” you’d call him, not dan feng, and he wonders if you truly see the man that owns that name, if every bashful smile you sent his way was for him.
dan heng decides to sleep. he’s better off facing his nightmares rather than his dilemma. tomorrow, he must have a word with the luofu’s current vidyadhara elder, bailu.
he expected the usual nightmares to plague him, of a black-haired swordsman piercing him, the pain dan heng grew accustomed to. and in turn, he'd stab him, blade, with his cloud-piercer. even the weapon he carried was once dan feng's. blade's grudge for him was for his past incarnation. the sins he's been condemned with was dan feng's. even you, you are still dan feng's. it was another one of the more pleasant dreams, only because he’s not stabbed. but it wasn’t ideal either, because you looked so happy with his previous incarnation, and he in turn.
a shadow, he was, defined by his past.
dan heng didn't have anything or anyone belonging to him.
but the warmth of your lips against his, still tingling until now, it belongs to him.
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𝖑𝖆𝖎. don't take this book seriously, it's just self-indulgent. i love him so much ngl i have imbibitor e2s1 ajsja like i 100% every area and got lucky! his 4* sits at e2 because he refuses to come home >:( anyway i'm rambling.
tl;dr, i love dan heng, i'm his number 1 enjoyer real !!
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