Here there are no good byes

2

I had been walking the city with no luck all night long. It was almost dawn. It was almost time to get shelter. The streets were packed and empty at the same time. There were people, yes, but nothing that mattered to me. And yet, they all mattered to me for some reason. But why? Why was I helping all these people? I had to admit that I was also looking for Romina. For a shadow somewhere. Where was she? I needed to talk to her. That's not true. I wanted to talk to her. But why? To join her side? To become a fascist all of a sudden. Fascist. What a name for a criminal. But this world has always had criminals. I couldn't understand it any other way. Nobody could. It was almost like looking at dogs mark their territory. Or bulls get all rattled up by the color red. They couldn't help themselves. Then I remembered. I despised criminals. I always had. It was just my nature. Not Romina's, for some reason. But why? We were the same, weren't we? But it was true. I had always hated criminals. Oppression. I guess I like hunting in the wild.

Then, almost at daybreak, I heard a loud voice screaming:

"This is Italy; this will again be Italy soon. This has always been Roman, and soon we will go back to our roots", yelled the poor man's voice.

I got curious and went closer. He was a young man, not badly dressed. But not elegant either. Just normal. He continued:

"Soon, we will be freed from this colony; soon, we will be rulers of the world again; soon, we will go back to our roots," he said, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Who are you?" I said to this man.

"A man passing a message. Nothing more, nothing less", he said.

"I am a woman passing a message, too, you know? We are the same".

"Do you, too, want to get freed from slavery?" he said to me, infuriating me.

"What do you know about slavery, my boy?"

"Well, you are a woman, so, obviously less than you," he said, finally making some sense. And he continued:

"In the world we will inhabit, you will be free from everything," he said naively.

"No, I won't, and neither will you. In the world you are imagining, reality will be so harsh, you will regret every word you are saying", I told him, knowing my words were empty. Then I continued.

"Please let me know more about you. Where are you from?"

"I am from here. But my parents are from Italy. We long to be Italians again".

"Why not just go there and let these people alone."

"I want to help them. I want to free them".

"What if they don't want to get freed? Like you, you know?"

Dawn was so near I was getting nervous.

"Do I scare you? I am not like other men, you know?" he said.

"I know you are not. You don't scare me".

"Yet, you seem scared. What's wrong?"

"Listen, young man, you have your ideas all mixed up. It is not your fault. But leave this island alone. They don't need your troubles or, better yet, your crazy ideas".

And as I said this, I started to walk away.

"Don't go. I'll buy you breakfast. Let's eat", he said to me, grabbing my arm in desperation.

"Don't touch me. You don't know me, and you don't know anything", I said, pulling away.

Why I didn't devour him still amazed me. My self-control was beyond anything I could imagine.