𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐌𝐘 (𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘫 𝘢𝘶)

2: I WISH YOU WERE HERE

— CHAPTER 2 —

I DROVE TO THE GRAVESIGHT and saw her. Nini. She was my first love. I met her in middle school, and we had a one night stand. Next thing I knew, she was pregnant. And then we had Samantha.

Sam was hard to take are of.

At least one of us had to stay home everyday. She took off most of her education because I wanted to pursue a degree in music. She took off Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and I took off Thursdays and Tuesdays.

I would often get into detention because some jerk would say something about how weird it was that Nini and I had a kid in ninth grade.

It wasn't fair

I remember this one moment at eighth grade. Mind she was pregnant at this time. About the second trimester. A boy in our school slapped her and she fell to the floor, and I lost it. I didn't even beat up the kid, I almost killed him.

NOBODY touches Sam.

Ever since then, I couldn't move on. Not from Nini. Even though it's been seven fucking years since she was gone.

And I miss her.

And Sam doesn't want me to.

"Hey Neens," I softly said. "It's been exactly seven years since you took your life because of me. I'm so sorry. I don't know why the fuck I gave you so much trouble. Um...hey, remember that jock in high school? That tall one who was kinda handsome? EJ? Yeah, he's an English teacher now," My smile faded away when I started to discuss about Sam. "Sam...is FINE. I know I don't visit you as much as her, but I'm trying. It's just HARD with all the fucking bills and stuff. She's tough just like her mama." I wiped my nose due to the coldness.

"When will you be home?"

I WAS ALMOST DONE cooking the pasta for Sam and Amber. They've been friends since kindergarten. It's nice. Amber and my daughter are actually quite different. Amber's loud, social. She talks a lot. Every-time she comes over for dinner, she's ALWAYS talking. It's not a bad thing. Sam is quiet and calm. At least around me. I heard them laughing a lot upstairs. It's GOOD that she smiles. I like it. I always invite Amber over because I don't want Sam to get upset at me for it.

I'm kinda a vulnerable parent.

"Dad! Amber's here!" I heard Sam shout. "Can you open the door? I'm changing!" I turned off the stove and opened the door to see a pretty Amber. Amber's very pretty, not in a creepy way, but more in like an uncle type of way? She's kinda like family at this point.

"Hi, Amber." I smiled and held the door open for her.

"Hey DJ Bowen." She calls me that because when she was little, her and Sam would run around the house while I was producing songs with Sydney. She took off her sandals and threw herself on the couch. "Where's Sam?"

"She's changing upstairs." I replied. "Uh, you want dinner?"

"Yeah, that would be good. Whatcha making?" she asked, turning on her phone and scrolling through TikToks.

"Pasta. Fettuccini because Sam doesn't like red sauce" Sam's kinda a picky eater I'm not gonna lie.

I saw Sam walk downstairs in a spaghetti-strap top and blue shorts. God, I hate seeing my baby girl grow up. She's gonna go to college in two years and that's it.

I'm all ALONE.

"Um, Sam, I made pasta. Fettuccini." I said, placing it on the table. She licked the sauce from the pasta.

"Wait, it actually good for once." she smiled. She sat down on the chair with Amber and we all dug into our pasta.

"Mmm, I love it, Mr. Bowen." Amber replied. "Also, Sam."

"What?" I know this was the part of dinner where Amber gossips continuously so I just learn to not listen. Amber pulled out her phone and showed her some more gossip pics, or at least I think.

"I found Mr. Caswell's instagram, and he's so hot! Like, he's also single and stuff." I widened my eyes when I heard Caswell.

"Wait, what the fuck? Why is he so ripped? Like, he's more fit than the P.E teachers." she took the phone from Amber and started scrolling.

"Yeah, like it's crazy. He reminds me a bit of Armie Hammer." She referenced. "Mr. Bowen, he's like your age, did you guys go to school together?"

"Yeah, we actually did." I replied, taking a bite of the pasta. Too salty.

"How's his dick-"

"AMBER!" Sam elbowed her silly friend and I just laughed it off. "Sorry, Dad."

"It's fine, it's fine." I said. I grabbed their empty plates and put them in the sink, waiting to be washed later. "Hey, uh...you said you found EJ's instagram, Amber?"

"Yeah, I did. Literally just search his name and you'll see it. Why? You wanna suck his-nevermind!" I furrowed my eyebrows.

Amber can be a bit...UNMANNERED sometimes, but it's okay.

"Okay,"

I TAKE OFF MY SHIRT and threw myself ontop of my bed. Finally, she's asleep. I turned off the lights and used my phone. I began to search up "EJ Caswell" on Instagram.

I found him.

He looks so sexy, I'm not gonna lie. I found a picture of his shirtless—probably the one Amber was talking about. Sam was right, he is ripped.

I accidentally double-tapped the picture, sending a like...which meant sending a notification to him. I unliked it and hoped he wouldn't see it. God, I have to turn off my phone. I have work tomorrow.

I went to my contacts and saw her name. Nini. I played the voicemail. The last voicemail she ever sent me. I rested my phone on my nightstand and covered myself in the blanket, and stared at the ceiling. "Hey, baby! Um, I'm not gonna make it home for a while, we're in a really long line for ice cream. Just um...—oh hi, daddy (this was eight year old Sam)—Yeah! And uh...I'll see you in a bit. I love you, mwah!"

She was so sweet.

I turned off my phone and closed my eyes. Hoping to just let all of this fade away, and wake up with Nini besides me.

And then I heard a notification.

I opened my eyes and looked.

EJ Caswell has started following you on Instagram.

What the FUCK?