A Study in Love

Chapter 65

I had chosen to use the time Matt showered to catch up on my studies. Despite the rather strange circumstances, I was still enrolled at the university and was working towards the best grades I could get. As I opened my university-issued mail account, I was greeted by a flood of e-mails, some of them even from Bert, who was worried about me. I typed out a quick reply containing an alibi, explaining the situation as vaguely as possible. Most mails were assignments I had to do and I made a mental note to ask Matt wether I was allowed to hand them in without blowing our cover.

I found myself longing for the simpler times of University where deadlines and grades had been my main concern. I had been content that way, happy even, reveling in the fact that I was doing what I loved. I had been a good student, diligent, and only now did I realize the that had been taken from me, just another reminder of the loss I had suffered throughout the past year. I bit the inside of my cheek, already feeling myself getting lost in a tornado of bad thoughts, unable to stop it from happening. I used to have a plan, doing everything to get smarter, learn more and fight for what I wanted, but at some point during this whirlwind of events I had stopped, given up and part of me felt like a failure. Despite my knowing that I was not at fault, I was unable to fight the dizziness overcoming me. I opened one, two, eventually seven tabs with assignments, some already past their due dates. Shit. At that rate, my scholarship would not get renewed, leaving me unable to pay my tuition.

"You are worried." I had not noticed Matt leaning against the doorframe.

"Well, yes."

"Why?"

I shook my head, slamming my laptop shut. I did not really feel like discussing my financial issues with him, nor did I want to hear that he never had to work in order to do good academically. I was smart, yes. But he was a genius and somehow, that made me extremely mad.

"Hannah, I can not help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." He did not sound concerned, not even in the slightest. Of course not, I thought. There was not a problem in the. World that could not be fixed by the genius Doctor Matt Grandt.

"Talk to me, Hannah. " It was a demand, not a suggestion.

"I am not in the mood for that, Matt."

Worry creased Matts forehead as he shut the door behind him.

"Is it because of what happened in the basement? Sweetheart-"

"Not everything is about you! I am allowed to have other worries. God." I answered, more harshly than I should have. His brows shut up in surprise.

"Well that's quite an... attitude you have there."

"Fuck, stop talking to me like I am a bratty teenager."

"Maybe if you stop acting like one I will." He said almost neutrally, leaning back against the wall.

"You are so damn arrogant."

"And you are bitchy." A statement, not an insult. Nevertheless, my eyes widened in anger.

"Fuck you!"
"Very mature."

"Well sorry that I am not as mature as you'd like me to be, but in case you have forgotten I am not as old as you yet, Professor, so sorry for the inconvenience!" I knew my comment hurt him, it had to. I knew that he was worried about the power-balance between the two of us. It was unfair, a selfish act of emotional-terrorism against the one person on my side, but I just wanted to feel less vulnerable. Or, at the very least, get Matt into the same state as I was in. But, to my surprise, as I was sure I had to have sprinkled salt into a cut, Matt actually smirked at me.

"You want to know what I think?" He asked, pushing of the wall and stalking towards me.

"Actually, I don't, thank you very much."

"Well, sweetheart, you'll have to listen to me none the less. You haven't got a choice there, really."

"Then enlighten me. I always love listening to a man solve all of my problems."

"I won't solve a single one of your problems." That got my attention.

"You won't?"

"No. Believe me, I'd burn down this whole house if it made you happy. In fact, I wouldn't even stop there. If you asked me to, I'd burn down the entire world, just to see you smile." He bowed down so we were eye level.
"I'd kill for you. No hesitation." A cold shiver ran down my spine at the sincerity in his voice.
"But I won't solve your problems. We will solve them together. But for that to happen, we need to talk, communicate, Baby. But right now, your whole head is fully of frustration, it can't work that way, its impossible, you know?" There was a spark in his eyes and I could not stop myself from smiling a little.

"Ah! There it is! Don't you try and hide it, honey, I've already seen it. No use getting shy on me now."

"Sorry. About what I said to you. You're not that old."

Matt's hand found it's way into my hair and his lips found mine, softly kissing me.

"Now don't you think you're off the hook, I'll get back at you for that remark. Soon." He whispered against my lips.